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February 22, 2016


Professor Carrying Briefcase, Wearing Tweed Blazer and Glasses Means Business

Breaking: 2:46 p.m., Monday, February 22nd

BLOOMINGTON, IN- Moments ago at the Union Starbucks, a collegiate middle-aged man holding a briefcase, wearing a tweed blazer was spotted standing in line in a studious fashion. It was clear from the very edge of his black-framed eyeglasses that this presumed professor, probably named Nolan or Nicholas, meant business and had no time for dilly-dallying. An obvious enthusiast of pedagogue culture, the fellow eventually ordered a grande Pike Place (medium roast) before moving aside to wait. It was there that he stood in all his scholarly glory, occasionally checking his watch, perhaps indicating a lecture or panel discussion he must be getting to. Donning couture only someone of the utmost intellect would wear, he passed the time on his mobile device alternating between scientific journals and the New York Times. Eventually his order was called and the instructor, practically dripping with academic wisdom, hurried off to attend to his pressing scholastic affairs.