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August 30, 2010

Totally made up story off the top of my head...

It had just stopped raining on a Sunday afternoon just before the big game, and so these two guys who lived across the street from the park decided, "Hey let's go down there and hang out and shoot the breeze.  The two fellows, were in their late 70's and haven't been outside all month.  As they sat on the bench watching all the parks activities, a small ball rolled and hit the leg on the back of the bench from where they sat.  The ball was blue and white and a slight swirly effect to it.  As they looked down the one on the left a pock marked elderly gentleman with a rather large nose and wearing a gray sweater vest with a light blue and yellow shirt, yakity yak yak yak....then I woke up....Fell back to sleep and the two guys were still there as if someone yelled, "Cut"...The one on the left picked up the ball as the other guy on the right, looked on....out from behind a bush a small boy appeared, about in 5 years old..."That's my ball!"  Here you go kid, exclaimed the pocked guy, who I'll call Frank just for the hell of it.   The other guy who I'll call Mel, said, "Yeah kid you better watch your balls from now on cause someone someday is might wanna take em....?  Mel was rather gruff or rather indiscriminate in his manner not only towards kids but people in general, basically Mel would say whatever popped into his head at the time with no fore thought or worry if he was going to hurt anyone's feelings or not.  And it didn't bother him a bit.  The kid looked at him with a rather impish look as a tear rolled out his right eye, and ran the opposite direction with his ball.....about 5 seconds later the guys heard the boy screaming, "MOOOOOM!"....

"What the sam hill did you say Mel?  said Frank..."I just warned the kid he needed to watch his balls, you don't want them getting into the wrong hands after all."  Mel, could sense that Frank was a little pissed at him for saying such a thing to a boy his age.  "Whadare you gettin all excited about?"  said Mel.

Ok, I had something happen to me when I was a kid, said, Mel.  I was about his age, my rubber ball had rolled over into the neighbors lawn and their was this girl named Alice who lived there and she was a rather big girl, compared to me at the time.  I went over to her and asked, "Can I have my ball back?"  She said, No, it's mine threw it over onto the porch and said, what are you going to do about it you little brat?  "Guess I'll go up there and get it since you won't hand it to me..."No your NOT!, She put her left hand on my shoulder and stepped back and with her right foot planted it right in my groin."  I collapsed and couldn't move for bout' half n' hour and I was cryin in writhin in pain.  That might be why I warned the kid.  "Oh" I get it, said, Frank...

About 6 minutes went by, ...and The little boy his ball and his mother walked by the boy still a little teary eyed and mother giving both the men a glare that would melt a hole in your head if you weren't wearing the right sunblock.

Frank said, "I'm getting hungry, you want a bagel?"  Sure said, Mel...

Frank exited the bench and walked across the street to the bagel place and just as he was about to make his selection.......I woke up...again...

Maybe if I go back to sleep Mel will be able to get something to eat.