Full Credits

Stats & Data

December 10, 2014

Local man is shocked to find that women do not come flocking to him after he states that he doesn't even think the Victoria's Secret Angels are that hot and that he would prefer a "normal" girl.

While many of his peers were focused on the good looks of the Victoria’s Secret Angels during the annual fashion show, local “nice guy” Marcus Lambeau took to the internet to share what he believes may be an unpopular point of view.

“If you ask me,” Lambeau starts off, despite the fact that no one did, “the Victoria’s Secret Angels aren’t even that hot.” Lambeau goes on to list every flaw he can find in the models in a series of tweets,including the fact that they “are too in shape” and he “likes a nice, normal girl”.

After a solid forty-five minutes of checking Twitter, he was shocked to find that there had been no replies, no retweets, not even a single favorite acknowledging or validating his progressive point of view.

“I am honestly disappointed that not a single woman thanked me for standing up for them. Here I am, telling them that I would rather objectify their bodies than that of a Victoria’s Secret model—the highest compliment a man can give—and not so much as a single ‘thank you’ or ‘I would love to have dinner with you and then go back to your place sometime.’ I don’t know what more they want from me.”

When asked how she and the other Angels felt about Lambeau’s tweets, Adriana Lima said, “Who?” and went back to her $6 million home to celebrate the evening’s show with a bottle of champagne that cost more than Marcus Lambeau makes in a month.