Celebrities See All

Close

Quick Links

or
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
www.theleakywiki.com
2 Funny Votes
0 Die Votes
119 Views
Published April 28, 2011

At 1:00 GMT, Jamaica outlawed reggae music. Prime Minister, Bruce Golding said, "It is time Jamaica takes her place as a world power.”

The government cites findings by the JRC, Jamaican Reggae Commission,that the average Jamaican functions at 5% of their productive capacity.  

“If we could get people to use 15% of their potential,” the Prime Minister continued, “we would easily be among the top four or five most powerful countries in the world.”

The JRC has determined that the common use of cannabis in the Jamaican population is not a factor in low productivity.  Doctor Denning contends that, "The typical Jamaican worker's tolerance to cannabis is simply too high. We're talking about people who have smoked since it was physically possible."

Doctor Denning continued, "We found that reggae beats, bass, and lyrics have a significant negative impact on a persons competitive spirit and work ethic.”
 
Some examples of productivity dampening lyrics include;
“Don’t worry ‘bout a thing, ‘cause every little thing gonna be all right.”
“Sunshine, Sunshine Raggae, Don’t worry, don’t hurry, take it easy.”
“Yow yea man,and a jah cure and jah mason a bless di empress and di princess enuh.”

“We did a six-month test where fifty men and women had to live in close confines on a small island off the coast of Jamaica.  They were able to live their lives as normal, that is, listen to reggae music.  They served as the control group.  The test group also had fifty men and women on and island, but they were not allowed to listen to reggae.  The results were fascinating;

“After six months the control group had formed a strong community.  There had only been one crime reported, but that turned out to be a miscommunication and both parties are now dear friends.  Fifteen people had mastered a musical instrument, two of which are now going to Juliard.  On weekends there are community dances in the middle of the island.  And five weddings had taken place.  

“The test group was a different story altogether.  The tiny island had sprouted three large skyscrapers and a maximum-security jail.  Two men had been put to death because of their involvement in acts of genocide.  Half of the people left alive were either obese, or were suffering from malnutrition because of stress.  Also, they had somehow managed to become a nuclear state and had gained the full attention of the US Defense Department.”  

Doctor Denning concluded that, “Clearly, we don’t want acts of genocide.  But the facts are that reggae music has hidden our country’s potential.” 


www.theleakywiki.com

Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web

More