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He knows who you are before you’ve met him.

He knows who’s going to become mayor.

He runs after you and calls you ‘Dad’.

He gets alarmed when you tell him what year it is.

One of the first things he says to you is ‘You’re my mom.’

He wears clothes you’ve never seen and refers to things that don’t yet exist.

He’s always trying to set you up with a guy he just met.

When you don’t know what to say to a woman, he says ‘It’s a wonder I was even born.’

He spends his free time with an elderly scientist.

He keeps a car in his garage but covers it with a sheet when you enter the garage.

He seems awfully concerned with the space-time continuum.

He calls you ‘Dad’ again, then covers it up by saying ‘Daddio’ in a very uncertain way.

He begins to sound like your mother.

When you kiss him it’s like kissing your brother.

He then claims that makes perfect sense.

He often gets worried and looks at a photo to see if he’s still in it.

When a ginger teenager separates you from your partner, he forgets how to play guitar, sits abruptly, then becomes translucent.

He stops all that the second you kiss your partner.

He has difficulty working out if a song is old or not.

He informs an audience on their future kids’ music taste.

The last thing he tells you refers to a specific action that your son will do when he’s eight.

After setting you up with your partner he leaves town forever.

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