I caught my trophy wife in bed with my employee of the month plaque.
Trying to get my dog excited about Anthropomorphism Awareness Week.
Am I really dancing with these rhinestone cowboys or is this just a sequence dream?
Sometimes when I blow bubbles, I like to imagine how cool it would be to exist as a bubble, floating in the breeze without a care in the world until “pop!” Then it’s off to bubble hell where no one has lips.
A vampire groundhog just saw its own shadow. Two more weeks of immortality.