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Published October 28, 2008

When Democrats dream, they dream of blue Florida. Barack Obama might be able to make that dream come true.

Obama has been flooding Florida with advertising, ground game, and personal appearances, and according to the polls, it's working.

After it was stolen from them in 2000, nothing turns Democrats on more than the thought of a Florida win, but that isn't their only fantasy. Herewith are six of the most common wet dreams Democrats will be having in the days leading up to November 4th. Somebody hand them a tissue...

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SIX ELECTION DAY WET DREAMS FOR DEMOCRATS

Taking Florida. There's no denying it. It's the one that got away. The one they should have had but it got ripped out of their hands. Winning Florida would be like finally getting a second chance with that woman you were impotent with, just to prove that it really was a fluke! For eight years Dems have been screaming "this kind of thing never happens to us" but no one's believed them. Not until now?

Having Florida and Ohio both. The twins! Very hot. But Ohio would really just be icing on the cake. If Dems get Florida, they wanna take their time with it. Really savor every minute of the win, give Florida their undivided attention, let it know what it's been missing all these years. But hey, no one's gonna kick Ohio out of bed for eating cookies.

Sneaking Away with Arizona. Winning Arizona is the ultimate "F You" fantasy. It's akin to winning the big game and going home with the other team's head cheerleader while their quarterback just has to stand there and watch.

Scoring big, "Reagan-Mondale" style. Except the Dems are Reagan. It's okay if this makes you feel uncomfortable because it's pretty much a rape fantasy. It's Democrats wanting to hold America down by the arms and just paint the whole thing blue. Some Democrats are creepy like that. Takes all kinds.

Karl Rove in handcuffs. There's an element of bondage to it, but Karl Rove getting arrested is actually one of the more popular elements to all types of Democratic wet dreams. He eventually just pops into the scenario wearing a pair of handcuffs. No matter what they're dreaming about, Karl Rove doing a perp walk usually ends up being the money shot.

Just plain old, missionary style 270. Look, when you've gone without for a long time, you don't need any big fancy scenarios to get off. For many Dems, they just wanna get to 270 electoral votes. Before they break out the leather and the whip cream, they really just wanna end their dry streak.

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