First of all, stop worrying! Relaaaaax. The state of our nation is, in a word, EXPLOSIVE. President Obama dropped a bomb last night...

Aaaaaand only one old, white, painfully awkward Republican seemed kind of scared. The rest of the nation seemed pretty excited, particularly this man:

...who supports both our President's effort to wage the minimum wage AND a separate independent iniative out of Brooklyn for Mustache-related tax credits.

Some Americans are neither uncomfortable nor excited. They're just bored.

Bored in Congress.

In Congress dying of boredom (Kerry):

In Congress licking their lips (Grandpa Joe):

In Congress rolling their eyes...(Boehner):

...or touching their infected eye repeatedly (Vice President Biden):


Infections  and boredom aside, they are in Congress chiefly to villanously plot their inevitable world domination (Schumer)!:

Above all, the state of our union is tolerant! As evinced by Washington's tolerance of Ted Nugent's presence.

And his totally comfortable body language toward the gay man seated next to him:


If you're still feeling less-than-confident about the state of our nation, just watch this video of the Republican response, as told by Senator Marco Rubio of Florida (courtesy of Joe Mande):

America, the cotton-mouthed. 


(Gifs & pics via Gawker, NY Mag, Buzzfeed, The Atlantic Wire, the Global Post and Tumblr.)