First of all, stop worrying! Relaaaaax. The state of our nation is, in a word, EXPLOSIVE. President Obama dropped a bomb last night...
Aaaaaand only one old, white, painfully awkward Republican seemed kind of scared. The rest of the nation seemed pretty excited, particularly this man:
...who supports both our President's effort to wage the minimum wage AND a separate independent iniative out of Brooklyn for Mustache-related tax credits.
Some Americans are neither uncomfortable nor excited. They're just bored.
Bored in Congress.
In Congress dying of boredom (Kerry):
In Congress licking their lips (Grandpa Joe):
In Congress rolling their eyes...(Boehner):
...or touching their infected eye repeatedly (Vice President Biden):
Infections and boredom aside, they are in Congress chiefly to villanously plot their inevitable world domination (Schumer)!:
Above all, the state of our union is tolerant! As evinced by Washington's tolerance of Ted Nugent's presence.
If you're still feeling less-than-confident about the state of our nation, just watch this video of the Republican response, as told by Senator Marco Rubio of Florida (courtesy of Joe Mande):
America, the cotton-mouthed.