Jon introduces his ‘Spurt
Everybody needs an expert by their side to help them along their journey, and Jon Glaser is no exception. Accompanying JG on his adventures in gear will be his trusty 'spurt, Steve. He’s a man with expertise, muscles, the tattoos of someone who hunts hobbits, and not a single unnecessary syllable.
Jon introduces JGLG’s catchphrase
It should be clear from the title of his show that Jon Glaser gets to the point. So what better catchphrase to express his fondness for gear than yelling the name of his beloved “gear” into a bullhorn every 2 to 3 minutes?
Paul Rudd Makes a Cameo Wearing Death Cloth
Hey, is that… I think it is. It’s America’s sweetheart, Paul Rudd. Too bad that image is probably the last time anyone saw him alive. You know, because, as ‘Spurt points out, he’s wearing pants made of certain death cloth.
You don’t become the King of Gear without learning how to overcome adversity, and sometimes the greatest piece of gear is your brain. That’s exactly what Jon uses to come up with the brilliant idea of replacing his real “camera-shy” wife with his fake “Icelandic model” wife.
Though he’s excited to show off his Foot Massage Ball from his sack of gear, Jon “Dr. Hands” Glaser will do it the old-fashioned way (with his hands) and show everyone how he earned his nickname in college. Look at that technique!
The Pinnacle of Existence
A loving family, loyal friends, a safe home… they don’t mean shit if you don’t have clothes you’re absolutely jazzed about sleeping in.
“You’re Not Holding It Right”
There’s no greater test for your right-hand man than when you aim a bow and arrow at him after he had a threesome with your fake Icelandic wife. And there may be no better response than when he tells you that you’re holding your weapon incorrectly. Too bad Jon still has to do the right thing: fire him and remove him from the opening credits.
“Would You Recommend These For Secretly Measuring a Woman While She Sleeps?”
Before you criticize Mr. Glaser for being a creep, he’s doing this to be a great husband and get a gift for his wife. Also, something tells me this isn’t the first time Bob Leonard, Specialist at Spy Store, Inc. has been asked this question before.
“I Look Cool, Right!”
Jon proves the best part of wearing spy-grade night-vision goggles to secretly measure your sleeping wife at 2AM is how sweet you look. It makes you appreciate that the guys who got Bin Laden didn’t let him escape while they admired their totally badass gear.
Who is Paul?
Nothing ruins secretly measuring your sleeping wife than when she mentions another man’s name in her sleep. Well, except maybe right after when she screams in abject terror and turns the lights on while you’re still wearing night vision goggles.
“Piece of Cake”
With all the cool cycling gear in the world, it’s important to prove you belong in the world of New York City bike messengers. And with this celebratory high five after his first delivery, Jon nails it.
“The Makings of a Blockbuster”
With the star power of Michael Shannon, the stakes of saving all of humanity, and the authentic backdrops of iStock by Getty Images, next year’s Oscar race for “Best Picture Written by a Smartphone App” is already over.
Sure, the mainstream studio system may have passed on the action-packed thrill ride of “Quick Rush”, but it’s 2016. Great content doesn’t have to rely on last century’s gate keepers. That’s why Jon Glaser is reaching out to fans like you to fund his $25 million passion project. So why not make a donation? Even something as small as a million bucks can help.