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Published September 20, 2011 More Info »
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Published September 20, 2011

20 Sep 2011, Tuesday 03:22 pm

Washington D.C. (HAHAJK) – A new survey of current House and Senate Republicans shows that 89 percent of them believe that Social Security should be taken quite literally and involve only the renting of padlocks and chains for wealthy people to lock up their wealth in a strong box or safe. Apparently,  a proposed bill is already in the works.

A padlock similiar to the one proposed by Republicans to rent to the wealthy in order to keep their money safe from the poor

Social Security, the long-standing program that gives financial assistance to seniors citizens once they reach the age of 66, would be turned into a lock-lending program if the majority of Republicans had their way, according to Democratic strategist, Henry Fredricks.

“The locks would be rented at a nominal fee so the rich could keep their money safe from the poor.”

The proposed program would be funded by imposing more taxes on those who already can’t afford them, the middle and lower class, and the revenue from the renting of locks would be as tax breaks to the upper class and corporations.

“I think this may be the best thing since chocolate covered bacon,” says Rep. Dean Morris (R) from Texas. “Meanwhile we will just vote down any proposed program by the Democrats until election time so we can continue to earn our large salaries and not do anything.”

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