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Published September 28, 2010

Via PooporChocolateBlogs.com


Clearly I’m not a fan of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, otherwise this post surely would have been written months ago.  However, having just been introduced to Theresa Giudice by the cover of this inTouch Magazine I saw while in a grocery store checkout line, I kind of wish it would have never happened at all.

Let me be frank.  This family is monstrously ugly.  I don’t feel the need to be more honest or hyperbolic than that.  Monstrously ugly.  The root of the adjective used in that phrase means, “shockingly hideous or frightful”.  That is exactly how I feel.  Even the baby is appalling, so much so that if I were forced to compliment its appearance, the best I could come up with would be “Danny DeVito-ish”.  And even that would be hard to say, as I feel like it would be an insult to Mr. DeVito.

Part of me feels good that these people have some celebrity, even if it is through the platform of trashy reality television.  If it weren’t for NJ Housewives, what would they have?  Let me tell you.  They would have a lifetime of horribly demeaning insults—troll face, man face, trans-face, mole face—far more than I could ever dish out in a single blog.  They would only be identifiable by… well, just look at them.  It’s a rare example of fame actually saving people from scrutiny, and it isn’t pretty.

I would like to point out that I am not trying to make a statement about the quality of reality television, gossip magazines, or the individuals who enjoy them.  As I first started writing, I thought that maybe I was.  Perhaps the blog would transform into a commentary on the physical standards we expect from our celebrities or the inherent nature by which we perceive those in the spotlight.  Nope.  This is a blog about calling people ugly.  I’m sorry, but it’s just the way I feel and I had to tell someone.

Before you judge me, though, please do me a favor. Take another look at these folks.  Can’t tell me I’m wrong, can you?

My name is t.j .and I’m a ten year old bully throwing snowballs at fat kids.

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