Skinny Jeans for a Fat World

Let me just state this blatantly.  FAT PEOPLE SHOULDN'T WEAR TIGHT CLOTHES!  There, now that I got that out of the way let me tell you cows why.  Ladies, when the fuck did it become cool to rock skinny jeans that lift your gut so you can sport a 360 degree pregnancy bump around your waist?  Fat dudes in skinny jeans what the fuck are you thinking?  Would you try and fit a rhinoceros in a shoe box?  Are you trying to give the ladies a preview of your poor excuse of a package?  Skinny jeans wont help you.  Your fat.  They don't want to fuck you anyway.  It looks like you put a hamster in a leg lock.  You really want to fit in skinny jeans?  Follow the Hollywood diet.  Lots of cocaine.