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January 15, 2016

Trees rule, but how do you hang out with one?

Arbor day is still months away, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find a great tree and chill with it. It’s what life on planet Earth is all about. But what do you do once you find a great tree to chill with? Here are 15 suggestions for great ways to chill with a tree.

  • Carve the plot of Making a Murderer into its side so it’s not missing out.
  • Peel off a little bark, kiss the underside of the bark, glue the bark back on the tree.
  • Have the tree invite a friend over and then casually try and move things towards a lil’ hammock action.
  • Sit perfectly still for a century or more.
  • Hit up Chili’s 2 for $20 menu.
  • Climb the tree. Then let the tree climb you.
  • Bring the tree a lesser plant and laugh at it with the tree.
  • Uproot that fucker and take it on a road trip.
  • Convert carbon dioxide into glucose via photosynthesis with it.
  • Also get Dutch Elm Disease.
  • Sit under the tree and sigh like you are the weary king of bugs.
  • Tell that tree “I like dat ash.” (Ash trees only)
  • Carve your name into the tree and the tree’s name into your arm.
  • Brag to each other about the weirdest place you’ve found a bird’s nest on your body.
  • Just be yourself, trees aren’t any different from you and me!