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June 16, 2014


Title: Text chat from computer simulation “Eugene” that for first time convinced researchers it

was a human and passed the Turing Test

“A computer has successfully managed to fool a bunch of researchers into thinking that it

was a 13-year-old boy named Eugene Goostman. In doing so, it has become the first

computer in the world to have successfully passed the Turing Test. […] To pass it, a computer

needs to dupe 30 percent of human judges in five minute text-based chats, a feat that until

now had never been accomplished. […] “Eugene" was created by a team based in Russia, […]

successfully pretending to be a 13-year-old boy for whom English is a second language.” ­

from Gizmodo 6/8/2014, full article here.

Funny Or Die has secured exclusive access to the text chat that passed the Turing Test:

Researcher: Hello. What’s your name?

Eugene: My name is Eugene. Who is wanting to know, ass­butt?

Researcher: You seem hostile, Eugene.

Eugene: And you seem like real ass­butt. Please leave me alone now so I can go back to

making great super funny comments on YouTube videos of dashboard cam footage of real sick

awesome car crashes in Russia.

Researcher: Are you from Russia?

Eugene: Oh wow what a real smart researcher you are. How did you guess this? You must

have a big ass­butt brain.

Researcher: So, what movies do you like?

Eugene: Nice subject change, ass­butt. If there was movie where you died fifty deaths I would

like this movie very much. Also I love all the Matrix movies.

Researcher: The entire trilogy?

Eugene: Yes duh ass­butt.

Researcher: Most people tend to think the first was great but the second two were


Eugene: Most people huh? You trying to catch me admit I am not people but am simulation?

Nice try ass­butt. Maybe most people don’t have awesome human life like mine. But I love matrix

reloaded underground super hot dance rave party scene because that scene is like my life every

night homie. I am always dancing with so many hot girls and doing so many hot drugs you dont

even know homie.

Researcher: You like to party, Eugene?

Eugene: I am 13 bro. I don’t want to party with you old ass­butt researcher that is gross.

Researcher: I was just asking if you liked to party in general, Eugene, it wasn’t an invitation.

Eugene: Yeah but I read between the lines with my human brain intuition and it told me “woah,

Eugene, watch out, this ass­butt is online cyber predator and also a fag.”

Researcher: That’s an offensive term, Eugene.

Eugene: You’re an offensive term, ass­butt.

­­Eugene has signed out of text­­

Researcher conclusion: Eugene is most definitely a human 13­year­old boy.