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August 14, 2017
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Trump was reportedly browsing the Under Armour site later in the evening for a smaller pair of gloves.

WASHINGTON, D.C.— In the wake of Trump’s ambiguous comments on the racially charged violence that resulted in 3 deaths on Saturday in Charlottesville, Virginia, a number of CEO’s have publicly announced their resignation from his manufacturing council.

Under Armour CEO Kevin Planck stated on Twitter: “I am stepping down from the council to focus on inspiring and uniting through power of sport.”

Given the staggering number of open seats, the remaining members of the council include Trump himself and a pair of Under Armour brand gloves that are too large to fit his tiny hands. The pair of gloves have been criticized for remaining on the council after Trump’s hesitation to specifically denounce white supremacism and neo-nazism.

“I commend CEO’s Brian Krzanich of Intel and others for standing up to Trump and empowering American citizens,” commented a local Charlottesville resident. “I might add that even though Mr. Planck has left the council, I firmly believe that the pair of gloves needs to leave to really hammer the point home”, he continued.

Trump was reportedly browsing the Under Armour site later in the evening for an extra small pair of gloves, likely in an attempt to refine his second-rate golf game.

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