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July 06, 2016
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What was I saying? Sorry, when I see spiders, all my thoughts just go right out the window.

Sorry to keep bringing this up, but I just need to be clear that I do not believe in gender roles.I look around this earth and see so many people trapped in these ideas of what they’re “supposed to be” and I just need you to know that I do not support the OH MY GOD SPIDER SPIDER SPIDER, RIGHT THERE, OH MY GOD CAN YOU GET IT AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ugh, it went behind the couch. Oh my god. Sorry.

What was I saying? Sorry, when I see spiders, all of my thoughts just go right out the window.

Oh yes. Our value in this world should not be determined by what’s beneath our shorts and EW THERE IT IS EW EW EW I’LL GET A PAPER TOWEL BUT CAN YOU GET IT PLEASE?? GET IT, IT’S GOING BEHIND THE COUCH AGAIN! SHIT.

Can you just be ready for it the next time it comes out please? Here’s a paper towel. Sorry, I just don’t do bugs.

Anyway, this idea that we have to make decisions about our lives because of what body parts randomly formed on our bodies decades ago is so absurd, don’t you think? This is a way of thinking that disrupts the happiness of so many people and I SWEAR IT’S LOOKING AT ME DO YOU SEE IT? HOW DO YOU NOT SEE IT? IT’S RIGHT THERE! IT’S HUGE LIKE THE SPIDER FROM ANNIE HALL THAT LORELAI REFERENCES IN GILMORE GIRLS.

Oh my god, you got it, thank you. Oh wow that was so gross.

I’m just saying we should definitely get rid of all gender norms. This could help children with identity issues feel less foreign in their own bodies. It could take men out from under the crippling pressure of toxic masculinity and allow them a healthy relationship to their emotions ANOTHER ONE ANOTHER ONE ANOTHER OOOOOOOONE, LOOK, GET IT GET IT!

WHY AREN’T YOU GETTING IT?!

WHAT HYPOCRISY?

YOU’RE AFRAID OF SPIDERS TOO? HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT?! I JUST ASSUMED…

Oh…

Okay I get it now.

We should really talk about this because you just totally opened my eyes to something.

But can you just get the spider first?

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