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I’m not going to mention the name of the team the Lakers are playing in the next round of the NBA playoffs because I don’t want to jinx an inevitable victory in glorious fashion for the Lakes but it’s completely thunderstandable that we should be at least a little scared here. Many people agree that the Lakers have thunderachieved thus far in the playoffs because they nearly lost to a thunderqualified, thundermanned Nuggets team, and Pau Gasol has played like a thunderfed white-skinned Somalian with the rest of the team looking like whiney thundereducated nimrods. Ok first of all, those nimrods are a damn good team and a thundred percent for real. Now with the full cast of characters inspired by World War Metta Peace, they will make the entire league thunderstand that they’re a force to be reckoned with. Secondly, the thunderdog Nuggets should not be thundervalued or thunderestimated in any way shape or form, for they are a fantastic team and are completely thunderappreciated for how hard they fought.

Andrew Gynum and Oaw Gasol finally played like the 7 foot 1 inch monstrosities they truly are and proved themselves yet again to be the best big man 1-2 punch there is. The team they play next must be shitting their thunderpants after seeing that performance by those two mammoth beasts. Anyone who lines up against them are thundersized and will be crushed like a bug. Oh and Kobe Bryant puts on a Laker jersey everyday too so that’s chill I guess. Oh man, I can’t wait for this series to get thunderway. If James Hard On tries to thundercut World Peace again while he’s simply trying to run back on defense banging his chest King Kong style, then he will have more brutal hell to pay. The bottom line is, the Lakers are clearly going to win the next series no doubt in my mind. Why?…Because they’re champions, they’ve been there. They’re older and more experienced then their opponents who are nothing but a bunch of thunderaged genetic oddities who would be thunderclassman if they were still in thundergrad. Kobe is the ultimate warrior, and thunderneath his Laker jersey is usually a thundershirt or something, but thunderneath that is a heart that beats for nothing but 4th quarters and clutch victories. So yeah, I’m not going to mention the team the Lakers play in the next round, because they might be good, but even a horrible storm of thunder and lightning can be harmless if you’re wise enough to know how to deal with it. Go Lakers!

Michael Sisto

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