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Published November 06, 2012 More Info »
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Published November 06, 2012
  Star Wars: Episode VII : Ghosts of the Jedi By Nozcr     STAR WARS MONTAGE There is a rapid fire montage of scenes from the six existing Star Wars films.                         ANNOUNCER               Star Wars. Generations have grown               up watching these beloved films; now               come three new adventures for a generation               that hasn’t been born yet.   EXT. SPACE   We see the classic crawl, Episode VII, Ghosts of the Jedi, basically explaining that the Empire was beaten thirty years ago and Luke Skywalker has spent all that time trying to rebuild the Jedi.                           ANNOUNCER               YES! George Lucas, Creator… um, I mean               Kathleen Kennedy, Associate Producer of               some of the greatest films of the last               thirty years, and The Disney Company, give               you three new films, about the same story               you heard a long, long time ago …   INT. JEDI TEMPLE HALLWAY   The ghosts of Qui Non Jin and Anakin are training, squatting down on the floor.                                       QUI NON JIN               Anakin! Concentrate! Remember, you are               a ghost. You don’t have a body anymore.               All you have is your spirit. You have to               take everything you have and concentrate               on the tip of your finger.   Anakin grimaces as he holds up his finger concentrating with extreme strain.   THE FLOOR   There is a copper penny with Yoda’s face on it on the floor; a New Republic Penny. Anakin places his finger next to the penny and continues to strain. We hear the unchained melody theme from the movie Ghost.                      JEDI GHOST                         (VOICE OVER)               Oh, my love, my darling, I hunger for, your touch …                         (Continues)                           ANNOUNCER               Star Wars: Episode Seven. Ghosts of               the Jedi.   After seconds of effort, Anakin manages to move the penny a few millimeters.   INT. JEDI COUNCIL CHAMBERS – DAY   A fifty four year old Jedi Master Luke Skywalker enters, looking pensive and concerned.                         GHOST YODA               Troubled, are you?   The ghosts of all the old Jedi suddenly materialize in their old seats.                           LUKE SKYWALKER               Uh, guys? Can I have a little privacy?   INT. CORUSCANT APARTMENT – DAY   A fifty four year old Leia goes from room to room looking for something. A seventy five year old Han Solo is resting in his Lazy Boy recliner.                           LEIA               Han. Han honey, have you seen my               hairbrush?                           HAN               Leia, you’ve got a million brushes.               I don’t know where you put them. Heck,               the only thing I’ve found in the last               ten years is this thing.   Han reaches down under the end table next to the recliner and pulls up the crystal skull from Indiana Jones IV.   INT. JEDI MUSEUM   The ghost of Mace Windu is in front of a display case showing all the Jedi lightsabers. His arm always goes through the case as he tries to grab his purple lightsaber. He stops, gives up and turns around, as crestfallen as the crazy subway ghost.                           MACE WINDU               Man, I’d give anything to get my               lightsaber back.   INT. CORUSCANT APARTMENT – DAY   Old Han is sleeping on the couch as Leia kneads a ball of clay. Suddenly Guinan opens the door.                           GUINAN               Leia! Leia! You gotta listen to me child!                         LEIA               GUINAN! Guinan, what are you doing               here? I thought you were supposed to be               on the Enterprise G.                           GUINAN               Never mind, Baby. Never mind. This is               Important. I gotta tell you something.               Leia. Leia. Leia girl, you are in trouble.                           LEIA               Guinan, when have I NOT been in trouble?               Tell me something I don’t know.                           GUINAN               Damn, you’re cold!                           LEIA               Do me a favor, take that Hula Hoop out               of your hat.   EXT. TATOOINE DESERT – DAY   A set of legs in black pants runs across the desert. A few seconds later they are followed by a black blob with a red head. It’s the ghost of Darth Maul trying to catch up to his legs.   INT. JEDI TEMPLE   Obi Wan Kenobi watches Qui Non and Anakin as Anakin tries to move a feather on the ground. An over cooked sausage crawling on the ground gets his attention.                           OVERCOOKED SAUSAGE               Obi Wan Kenobi! I’ve waited a long time               for this. I finally found you.                           OBI WAN KENOBI               Who are you? What are you?                           OVERCOOKED SAUSAGE               It’s me! General Greivous! Now I can               have my revenge!                           OBI WAN KENOBI               Where’s the rest of you?                           OVERCOOKED SAUSAGE               You burned what was left of my body!               What did you think I’d look like?!   EXT. JEDI TEMPLE BALCONY – DAY   A fifty four year old Jedi Master Luke Skywalker looks out over the city. The ghost of Emperor Palpatine appears next to him.                           EMPEROR               Ah, Young Skywalker. After years of effort               I have returned to the mortal realm. Soon               I will regain my rightful place and my               revenge will be complete!                           LUKE SKYWALKER               Not necessarily.   Luke raises his hands and blue lightning shoots out of his fingers. The Emperor screams as the lightning surrounds him and fades him back into the realm of the dead.                           LUKE SKYWALKER               Didn’t see that coming, did you?   INT. CORUSCANT APARTMENT – NIGHT   Leia places a lump of clay on the potter’s wheel as the theme from Ghost continues. Seventy five year old Han Solo comes up behind her and starts caressing her. They snuggle and cuddle, then Han reaches over to his side and grabs an oxygen mask. He places it over his mouth and inhales deeply. After a few breaths Han places the mask back on its hook on the wall.   EXT. CORUSCANT ROOFTOP – NIGHT   We see the ghost of a Jedi singing the last part of the Ghost theme on the rooftop.                           JEDI GHOST               I need your love. Oh, I need your love.               (Continues)                           ANNOUNCER               Star Wars: Episode Seven: Ghosts of               the Jedi. Coming in two thousand fifteen.               No matter what you think.