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January 29, 2016
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All is fair in love and bills.

BLOOMINGTON, IN- The gentle sound of a heart breaking echoed across the IU campus last night, as student Michael Jenkins spent the final dollars of his refund check. “We spent a beautiful three weeks together” Jenkins recounts, “We went shopping, had great dinners…”

At this point his trip down memory lane was interrupted by his growling stomach. “Looks like it’s gonna be ramen for a while” Jenkins laughed, visibly trying to hold back tears.

When asked if the “on again, off again” relationship Jenkins maintains with his refund check was unhealthy, he replied: “Logically, I know it’s bad, but when it’s there and I look at my bank account and I feel invincible! I even donated to charity! Now I look at my bank account and think…well…it’ll be back next semester, it always is.”

When asked to comment, Jenkins’s Work Check stated “he may love Refund Check more, but we all know who who he comes crawling back to”.


Lily Lalios is a sophomore at IU studying English. When she’s not crying over how expensive spices are she enjoys writing jokes and being nice to small animals. Follow her on Twitter @lilythelalios or in Instagram @notnotlily.

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