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July 28, 2017

Send new parents a MemoryTag card.

Do you know someone who just had a new baby?

What better way to honor the event than by sending a MemoryTag card and leaving a video message on it congratulating the lucky parents,and also perhaps warning them what they’ve let themselves in for. https://memorytag.cards/collections/baby

First of all, the joy, the sheer joy of bringing into the world a new person, and all the future promise they represent, a form of immortality really if you’re the parent, a little person who is partly you, carries your DNA, and looks somewhat like you.

Hopefully, not completely like you in appearance that’s if you’re ugly.

Don’t worry about it.

If you’re the father, this all happened because your little juice pollywog swam upstream and hit ground zero—-the grand circle of life, the egg in the womb. There to ferment and fester and then POP! Out comes junior. You’re proud, you’re happy, you’re thrilled.

Now let’s talk about the bills.

This is just the beginning. When your meagre income begins to takes hits—from the purchase of diapers, and little bottles of green gooey slimy food that looks like the stuff you deposited in the urinal of a Mexican hotel when you ate rancid squid and got Montezuma’s revenge.

It all adds up. A card that reads “Oh Sh’t You’re a Dad”might be appropriate. https://memorytag.cards/collections/baby/products/oh-sh-t-you-re-a-dad

Now you’re a parent, a role for which you’ve had no training, no instructional class in how to, no preparation, kind of like being the president, and since the person you brought into the world will immediately depend on you to become a well-balanced and successful person—it’s comforting to know that you as the parent have all these insecurities and paranoiac tendencies,including stupidity, greed, avarice—-which you can now unwittingly pass on to your own offspring.

Don’t let this make you nervous, but the character for good or bad for life is formed by your child when they reach the age of six months old.After that it’s too late to change them. That’s called “Imprinting” or in other words, if you’re a coward or a bank robber—-if you don’t teach them not to be, at six months it’s too late, that’s what they become.

Don’t let that worry you.

There are other joys too, incessant crying and waking you up in the middle of the night to perform feedings either bottle or the Big B au natural breast. https://memorytag.cards/collections/baby/products/waaahhh

The bills just keep going up for clothes and toys and other stuff but don’t worry you’ve got more income now right? Double what you were making before? Having a new baby is also a tax write-off. https://memorytag.cards/collections/baby/products/added-a-dependent-to-your-tax-form

Soon your little bundle of joy will be a precocious pudgy three-year-old and see an expensive children’s toy advertised on TV and point a pudgy finger on the TV screen and say, “I want that.” You’ll have to buy it.

At Christmastime you’ll bankrupt yourself buying presents and let me tell you I’ve had personal experience with this. You child will get so worked up about the presents, tear them all open, and then because there are no more, because the excitement is over, they run off to the back room crying.You’ll look at your wife.

It just gets better.

For example, my daughter and I have your average father-teenage-daughter relationship—she has total disdain for me. She never listens to any advice I give her. She takes the car and drives and I have to worry about her smashing into someone and the insurance on the car and the liability for it is mine if she gets in an accident and ….

Oh wait! I’m getting ahead aren’t I? That’s all in the future.We were talking about the happiness of having your new baby.

Don’t let any of the above worry you.

That’s just a part of life.

If you know someone who has had a new addition to their family send them a MemoryTag card to congratulate them. The video messaging app capability of the card allows you to use your smartphone to record a video message and place it on the card in addition to the printed greeting. The recipient gets the card, downloads the app and using their smartphone plays back your message. https://memorytag.cards/collections/baby/products/holy-crap-you-re-having-a-baby

Parenthood does have its challenges, but the warm smile and love you get from your baby makes life sweet.

Given the choice, despite its worries and headaches, I would never miss being a parent. https://memorytag.cards/collections/best-sellers/products/happy-escape-the-womb-day

Send that special person you know who just had a new arrival your happiness for them.