Earthquakes are freakin’ scary (duh). You can break limbs, get internal bleeding, develop asthma, and if you’re not prepared you could die of embarrassment.
I have diagnosed myself with Seismophobia (Fear of Earthquakes). Have you ever thought about WHERE you’ll be during an earthquake? You probably should because what if you’re in the shower? Are you just gonna run outside naked? Do you have an outfit ready? Ya, I didn’t think so. What if you’re at the dentist getting a root canal? Does the guy just give you an extra shot of numbing anesthetic and hope it lasts ‘til everything gets fixed? What if you’re trying on wedding dresses… you know just for fun. People will think you’re a runaway bride. How embarrassing! What if you’re getting your hair dyed and they haven’t washed the color out yet? An earthquake and green hair? Ew. Worst. Day. Ever.
Good thing for you, you were smart enough to read my blog and now you will know all of the things I think are essential in case of an earthquake.
- A water bottle. (Just because there was an earthquake, doesn’t mean there’s no bacteria. Wash your hands people.)
- Makeup. (In case, you didn’t finish half of your face before the quake hit. You don’t want to be nicknamed “Two Face”.)
- Sunscreen. (There was an earthquake, do you really want to get Skin Cancer too?)
- A set of “Get to Know You” cards. (In case you’re in an elevator during the quake with a really awkward man.)
- A set of crayons and paper. (So you can write a sign that says “I’m not Two Face.”; “I’m not a runaway bride.”; “I’m naked because I didn’t read this chick’s awesome Hypolife blog.” OR you could just use the crayons to write your phone number for some really cute guy you meet outside.)
Aren’t you happy you read this now? Ya. You’re welcome. For more wise words, ridiculous rants, funny freakouts... check out my blog: http://hypolife.tumblr.com