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April 24, 2015

Spring cleaning doesn't have to be a chore. Here are some handy tips and tricks to make it easy and fun!

Spring cleaning doesn’t have to be a chore. Here are some handy tips and tricks to make it easy and fun!

  • Start small, like, say, taking down the Christmas tree, or throwing away the newspapers from even-numbered years.
  • Declutter your life by taking photos of things with sentimental value so they’re easier to part with. Then declutter your phone by deleting those photos.
  • Organize all of your stuff into 3 big piles: Keep, Toss, or Burn with Cleansing Fire of Jesus.
  • Consolidate boxes. For example, “doll heads” and “doll bodies” can just go in one box marked “pretty ladies.”
  • When going through your closet, remember: If you haven’t worn it in over a year, wear it to work tomorrow. People are sick of you wearing the same shirt to work every day.
  • You can pretty much just hose everything down, except for your hose. Buy a second hose.
  • Separate all of your junk into two piles: “garbage” and “enchiladas.” What’s garbage, throw away. What’s enchiladas, enjoy!
  • Make sure to donate any old clothing to a thrift store so cool teenagers can laugh at it.
  • Get a Roomba. Get a cat. Record a video of your cat being scared by the Roomba. Post it on YouTube, make a million dollars and move to a cleaner house.
  • Turn your back to the dust. Tell the dust in a loud voice to leave your home, that it is not wanted there. The dust will leave.
  • Save money on cleaning products by mixing lemon, water, and bourbon and then getting drunk and not cleaning shit.