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April 23, 2016
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In the wake of the tragic news of Prince's death, fans worldwide start petition to bring him back to life.

In the days following the tragic discovery of pop icon Prince’s death, many across the world are still reeling. However, many have found solace in a petition that has been quickly making its way around the world.

The petition, started in Minneapolis, Minnesota, pleads to trade Queen Elizabeth II life for beloved Prince’s. The motive of the petition is to drain the life of Queen Elizabeth and use that to rejuvenate the body of Prince. If that weren’t to prove successful, the life would be reinserted to the Queen and a ritual sacrifice would then take place to transfer life pulse between the bodies.

Already reaching every end of the Earth, the petition has more than 31,000,000 signatures. As momentum continues to grow, days after the Queen’s 90th birthday party, even England is getting on board with the idea. “I mean, she doesn’t really do anything,” said a Prince Charles, “just sits around on a throne while mouth-breathing.” When asked if he intended to sign the petition, Prince Charles replied, “Hell yes, bitch needa be gone.”

Even England’s Prime Minister David Cameron supports the petition. “Man, I mean, all of my children were made to Prince’s music. That combined with the fact that this old hag takes up so much tax payer money, I no doubt plan to sign the petition.”

Once the petition hits 69,000,000 signatures, it will become official. Analysts expect it to hit that magic number on May 4th. If so, on May 5th, the world will join together for tacos, tequila, and the reanimation of Prince.

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