Uber drivers: they’re just like you and me. They drive someone home on a Friday night and park on the side of the road to take a breather, maybe eat a sandwich or drink a cup of coffee, then all of a sudden a guy starts shooting a gun at a group of people right next to their car so they get out the big old shotgun they have stowed in the car that they use to drive people around in and start shooting back. Same as I, or any one of you, would do in such a situation.
Friday night in in the Logan Square section of Chicago, an Uber driver with a concealed carry permit shot someone who was shooting at someone else. The man who was shooting at other people, Everardo Custudio, is in the hospital facing multiple charges after the unnamed Uber driver, who is not expected to face any charges, shot him in the leg and back.
This, of course, is exactly the scenario that someone who is, say, “pro-guns,” would point to when arguing that having people legally carry concealed weapons makes society a safer place for law abiding, peaceful citizens. It is so perfect, in fact, that the NRA, the leading gun rights interest group in America, has sent the unnamed Uber driver a letter of congratulations. I have posted it below.
Dear Uber driver,
Thank you so fucking much. Holy shit this is golden, baby! Goddammit you couldn’t have played this one out any more perfect if we wrote it for you! Please believe us when we tell you: we needed this.
To be honest, it’s been a tough slog for us Second Amendment jockeys lately. You remember, all those stories about people carrying guns that were legally purchased and concealed, under laws that we fought very hard for, into shopping malls, schools, offices, etc. shooting up the place and killing a lot, A LOT, of innocent people? That has not gone over well with the general public.
I know it sounds crazy to you and me, but there are a large number of people who think that the system that America has in place to restrict people who should not have guns is not working. They basically want to prevent great acts of heroism and lucky circumstance like the one that you were a part of on Friday night.
To them we say this: for every one person who kills anywhere from 1 to dozens of innocent people in public and/or in private, there is someone else out there with a concealed carry license toting their shotgun around feeling like a big boy. And that’s what America is all about, giving you the freedom to feel like a big boy no matter where you are or what you’re doing. And of course we know that people can feel like a big boy for different reasons. People like us, we feel like a big boy when we carry around guns that can kill people dead in violent and instant ways. Other people feel like a big boy when they make something with their hands or get a hole in one on the golf course. And we’re not trying to take that away from any of you so stop trying to take away our guns!
Getting back to your situation, Uber driver, holy shit we can’t wait to shove this into all those anti-gun hippies’ faces. They will know the surging, violent, semi-automatic, assault loaded force of the NRA’s we-told-ya-so! And it’s all thanks to your bravery. Sure, the loaded shotgun sitting within your reach could have become a problem. With so many Uber customers coming in and out of your car, there are probably a few of them that would have liked to know whether the complete stranger driving the metal box that they are currently trapped in has a big fat loaded shotgun sitting right next to him, but you didn’t tell them. And a perfect sequence of events played out so that it seems like it was a good idea for you to have that loaded shotgun next to you at all times. And that makes all the difference to us!
Because the main thing that makes your situation so special is that we don’t get many stories like this. I know we’re always talking about situations where a nice, law abiding, unracist citizen could save a group of innocent bystanders by having a gun on them, but the truth is, that type of situation very rarely actually happens. There are far, FAR more incidents of people with concealed carry licenses using a gun accidentally or the gun being used by someone who otherwise would not have access to a gun with violent results, than the scenarios that we usually use to argue for the right to gun ownership. But to have a documented case like this is so refreshing. We cannot tell you how happy it makes us. Of course, we don’t know your name or anything about you so you could very well be a mean, criminal, racist citizen who has no business carrying a gun. If that ends up being the case, then welcome, the NRA would love to have you.
The Big Boys at the NRA