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January 25, 2013

Brian writes monologue jokes every day. “This is one of those days,” to misquote Fred Durst. You can find more at http://brianunderstands.tumblr.com and tell him he’s a muffin on Twitter @BrianLisi. Thank you.

HBO renewed the show "Girls" for a third season. And for the first time, HBO was able to afford it without borrowing money from its parents.

A new poll suggests Hillary Clinton would beat Joe Biden out for the 2016 presidential Democratic nomination. The Obama administration attributed her popularity to an anti-Islamic film on YouTube.

U.S. jobless claims fell this week. Not counting Apple, as they still clearly miss their Jobs.

Congressional Democrats say they will propose a ban on assault weapons. In response, Republicans say they will propose a ban on children dying.

North Korea is threatening to test weapons that could reach the U.S. Ideally one that could reach the U.S., grab an Arby's then return home.

The governor of Kansas is calling for an end to income tax in his state. As if people needed another reason to live in Kansas other than giving up on life.

President Obama has chosen who he wants to head the SEC. So congratulations, new white person with ties to the financial sector.

A French court ruled that Twitter must reveal the identities of people who post racist or anti-Semitic tweets. But not ones that are violent towards women, so you're okay, Chris Brown.

Police in Washington, D.C., are failing to investigate sexual assault cases properly, according to a new report. Police have gotten so lazy they're not even wrongfully arresting black men.

The actor who played "the Dell dude" says the faltering computer company would do better if they brought his character back. "Dude, let it go," said his best friend, the old dancing Six Flags man.