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14 Funny Votes
6 Die Votes
968 Views
Published July 29, 2010

This is the third movie from the Twilight books and I've followed the books to a tee so I liked the movie. The movie is for teeny boppers or the young at heart or people who liked the books. They really need to get a new hairdresser though because they have terrible wigs. You can tell they are all wearing wigs. And the make up artist isn't that great either. My advice is get new people.

I'll tell you what it's about and I think it's ok to say because no one is seeing this movie unless they read the books so I'm not giving anything away. Bella Swan is the main character and she's gonna become a vampire. She is so tortured, but she has a great life. She's in a love triangle with Team Jacob and Team Edward. I'm on Team Jacob. He's with the werewolves and they are HOT baby. I mean, they have hot body temperatures, but they are hot too. He's like the new Matthew McConaughey because he never wears a shirt. Team Jacob is all wolves. Gigantic wolves. They should have made them normal size. They are triple the size of the True Blood wolves.

Victoria, a vampire who is played by Ron Howard's daughter, wants to kill Bella because Edward killed Victoria's boyfriend. So Victoria makes a new group of vampires. And these baby vampires have no control. They are sucking everyone's blood, they can't stop. It's like me in a chocolate shop. The new vampires go from Seattle to Oregon to find Bella. Edward's family is only six vampires - one of them is the Dr. from Nurse Jackie - they can't protect her so they team up with the wolves.

It's very strange to watch the guy the plays Carlisle (Peter Facinelli) because he also plays a doctor on Nurse Jackie. On that show he doesn't have blond hair and he's not dead. In this movie, he's blond, pale and dead. And he's so nice in Eclipse. On Nurse Jackie he's a freak and an annoying guy. Dakota Fanning is also in this. She's one of the oldest vampires and the other vampires are very afraid of her. She's like having the KGB after you. Her eyes are very red. The redder the eyes, the more blood thirsty they are. So if you ever run into a vampire with very red eyes, get out of there.

The Twilight vampires have feelings. They also can go in the sun and it makes their skin glow. Bella Lugosi, the first Dracula, couldn't go out in the sun. The True Blood vampires can't go out in the sun. But these vampires can. They are daytime vampires and can have regular jobs and be whatever they want to be.

If you're looking for a serious vamp movie, this is not it. I give it a thumbs up and three stars. The fourth movie is when it gets good. Before I see that, I'll probably watch all three movies again.
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