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Published November 10, 2008 More Info »
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Published November 10, 2008

I had to go to Walgreens to pick up a prescription Sunday night. It is lovely in there this time of year, Christmas Decorations abound, Christmas Muzak, and the smell of Pine-sol. After waiting for an hour and hearing an instrumental version of 12 days of Christmas 57 times, I came up with new lyrics for an old classic.....


On a Sunday Night at Walgreens
you might see:

Twelve Bums Humming
Eleven Emos Kyping
Ten bottles seeping
Nine  Drag Queen Prancing
Eight lubes for milking
Seven Rings for swimming
Six  Sluts a-laying
Five creams for stings
Four Rat Turds
Three Mexi-kins
Two Dykes in love
and A Customer with an IV


in case you forgot them, Here are the original 12 items

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My True Love sent to me:

Twelve drummers drumming,
Eleven pipers piping,
Ten lords a-leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a-milking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six geese a-laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree!

 

 

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