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August 16, 2016

“King’s masterful mixture of mystery and horror... played my colon like a fucking fiddle.” - Vanity Fair

Stephen King’s latest thriller Face Wash is the harrowing tale of a world-famous dermatologist who comes home one night to find his wife murdered and himself as the number one suspect. Now, Dr. Phriek must use a powerful medical acid to dissolve his facial features so he can try to solve the crime and clear his own name. But there’s just one problem: the murderer has made a replica of Dr. Phriek’s face out of butt skin and is trying to sew it back on him while he sleeps!

And there’s one more problem: this best-seller is so scary it’s making people poop their pants for real. Just look at these reviews…

“King’s latest will snatch the literal crap right out of you. And just when you think you’re safe, Face Wash goes in for more…”

— Minston Rodz, Time

“King’s masterful mixture of mystery and horror… played my colon like a fucking fiddle.”

— Grog Doops, Vanity Fair

“Face Wash is flat out addicting. Its symptoms include goosebumps, rapid heart beat… and the sudden appearance of big, nasty logs in your lil’ tighty-whities.”

— Amily Woomba, The New York Times

“Face Wash is a beach-read that will give you chills… and the runs! Now I can’t go back to the beach because I pooped so much that I’m classified by the EPA as an ‘environmental threat.’”

— “Teensy” Tina Toober, Publisher’s Weekly

“King has crafted another frantic page-tearer… A page-tearer like a page-turner in that you read it really fast, but then you rip out the pages and use them to wipe the poo-poo from your stinky butt.”

— Mikey Knolikey, People

“If you think you know who done it, or how much shit your body can produce, store, and expel, you’re in for a big surprise.”

— Anita Mojava, The Wall Street Journal

“Face Wash stayed with me long after I put it down. I wish I could say as much for my lunch.”

— Uma Tummy, USA Today

“King’s creeping prose will leave readers shaking… partly from terror and partly because they’ll be shitting so much that their bodies will not have enough time to break down and absorb the nutrients they so desperately need.”

— Jim Rim, The Atlantic

“I don’t now what’s more haunting: Face Wash’s twist ending or the memory being escorted off of a flight with a pant-ful of butt-brownies.”

— Malaria Mustard, Time

“This book made me shit so much it ruined my fucking life.”

— Oprah Winfrey