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July 04, 2017

Donald Trump makes America great again by officially declaring July 4th as the Fourth of July

Washington D.C. - July 4th is a monumental day in American history. It is a day that we have recognized for 241 years as the birthday of America, and Donald Trump doesn’t want you to forget.

The West Wing was a flutter this morning as Donald Trump signed more sweeping legislation to officially declare July 4th as the Fourth of July.

“People look at this day as just the 4th day of the month of July, but folks, this is the Fourth of July! Come on. This is how he does it. This is making America Great Again”, said Sean Spicer.

Members of Fox and Friends became emotional over the news of Trump’s new declaration, with one correspondent saying, “Look, he’s doing what no President did before. Do you think Obama ever recognized July 4th as the Fourth of July? No. But Trump’s a true American. He understands that July 4th needs to be recognized as the Fourth of July.”

The most intriguing comment came from First Lady Melania Trump as she stated, “Perhaps its fate that today is the 4th of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom, not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution – but from annihilation.We’re fighting for our right to live, to exist. And should we win the day, the 4th of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice, We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!”

When asked if he understood why we celebrate the Fourth of July, Sean Spicer responded by saying that“He hadn’t spoken to the President about that yet”.

We for one are grateful for President Trump’s declaration. It finally gives us an extra day off from the oppressive work week, and not making this just another fourth day of the month, but making it the 4th of July. We couldn’t have done it without you, Mr. President.