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July 27, 2009


These are some of my best features...

1) Hammer toes

I truly believe that one of my sexiest features are my hammer toes.  They are delightfully mangled and prove to the world that evolution really did exist.  I am a treat in sandals and if your lucky to catch me on the beach where Im going foot commando.... sassy.  Men? You may think your not gay, but you have never been tested by the likes of these barking dogs.. 

P.S my 3 year old boy Nicholas told me on the weekend that I have ugly feet. 

2) Upper Eye Fat

I am one of the lucky few that does not have much fat on his body because it seems to have collected in pockets above my eyes! What is this eye fat?! I have seen it before, usually on men over the age of 80 and on manitees.  Soon I will be blinded by the weight of my forsaken sight. 

3) Freakishly Girly wrists and ankles

 I was born 2 months early, things did not develop as big as they should have.... no... that didnt either. 

4) Massive Adam Apple

I have this huge lump in the front of my throat that I can move up and down on command.  This has always been a great ice breaker and yes, very ravashing.  

5) Grey Hair only on the side of my head

Im 33 and I look like an anorexic version of Pauly from the Sopranos.  They look like seagull wings on the side of my head.  I do sometimes get the urge to pull my car over and snack on tossed half eaten apples or rogue fries.  People tell me its sexy on a man, like George Clooney.  Really? Dont think the money has anything to do with it?  Oh well, I could have the fleshy landing strip I guess.

Thank God for Skateboard clothes or I would be DOOMED! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Have a terrific Monday everyone... Thanks for stopping by!