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Published February 03, 2013 More Info »
57 Funny Votes
19 Die Votes
2,522 Views
Published February 03, 2013

 

sex_man_walter_88: Hello? 
ruby_red_vixen: hi baby. How are u? 
sex_man_walter_88: Oh, hi. 
sex_man_walter_88: Not very good, actually. 
sex_man_walter_88: How are you? 
ruby_red_vixen: why not good 
sex_man_walter_88: A friend has just left me. 
ruby_red_vixen: your girlfriend 
sex_man_walter_88: No. Not exactly. Just a friend. 
ruby_red_vixen: thats to bad 
sex_man_walter_88: Yeah. 
ruby_red_vixen: what did she look like baby 
sex_man_walter_88: I don't know. She was a little taller than me. She was beautiful. 
ruby_red_vixen: was she blond 
sex_man_walter_88: She was, actually. Good guess. 
ruby_red_vixen: so am i baby...and i have huge boobs...my friends say im' gorgeous 
sex_man_walter_88: That's nice of them. They must be nice. 
ruby_red_vixen: Can i make you feel better baby...maybe i can make you forget about her 
sex_man_walter_88: Probably not. But maybe you could distract me? 
ruby_red_vixen: ive got all night baby...im lyaing on my bed...and i'm just in my underwear...do you like htat 
sex_man_walter_88: Htat? 
ruby_red_vixen: that 
sex_man_walter_88: Oh. Yes, it's fine. It's helping. Thank you. 
ruby_red_vixen: why dont you come over to the bed 
sex_man_walter_88: Alright. Where am I now? 
ruby_red_vixen: im unbuckling your belt...does that turn u one 
sex_man_walter_88: Turn me one what? 
ruby_red_vixen: Turn u on
sex_man_walter_88: Oh. Yes, it's okay. Thank you. 
ruby_red_vixen: Just okay...i think we can do better than okay...im sliding down your patns...all the way down to the floor...and im laying u on the bed now 
sex_man_walter_88: It feels good to lie down. 
ruby_red_vixen: i havent even started yet...do u want me to touch your dick baby 
sex_man_walter_88: Alright. If you’d like. 
ruby_red_vixen: im gonna slide my mouth over it okay baby 
sex_man_walter_88: Sure. 
ruby_red_vixen: do u like that 
sex_man_walter_88: How are you talking? 
ruby_red_vixen: what 
sex_man_walter_88: How are you talking with your mouth full? 
ruby_red_vixen: i took it out for a second
sex_man_walter_88: Oh. Of course. 
sex_man_walter_88: Is it back in now? If it is just say nothing, and I'll assume. 
ruby_red_vixen: Mmm...mmmmm...mmmm...mmmm.... 
sex_man_walter_88: Is everything okay? 
ruby_red_vixen: yes baby...how am idoing 
sex_man_walter_88: Oh. Fine. Does it taste okay? If that's not too forward. 
ruby_red_vixen: It tastes like strawberrys baby 
sex_man_walter_88: Seriously? 
ruby_red_vixen: yea, u taste soooo good 
sex_man_walter_88: That's strange, my body wash is mango. But can I tell you something? 
ruby_red_vixen: anything baby 
sex_man_walter_88: I haven't showered in a few days. I've just been in bed. That's why I asked. 
ruby_red_vixen: must be your natural flavor baby...u taste so good...up and down...your so big 
sex_man_walter_88: You're* 
ruby_red_vixen: your huge...do u wanna pull my blond hair while i do it
sex_man_walter_88: Maybe we shouldn't talk about your hair anymore. 
ruby_red_vixen: ok...sorry baby...u can turn the lights off if you want 
sex_man_walter_88: They were on? 
ruby_red_vixen: of course...iwanted to see your hot body 
sex_man_walter_88: I'm not hot.
ruby_red_vixen: well it hink you are...do you wanna know what i look like? 
sex_man_walter_88: Okay, sure. 
ruby_red_vixen: i have huge boobs 
sex_man_walter_88: Yeah, I remember.
ruby_red_vixen: with perfect little nipples...i have a thin waste...and a big ol butt 
sex_man_walter_88: Wow. 
ruby_red_vixen: You like that, huh? 
sex_man_walter_88: No, it’s just...
sex_man_walter_88: You’re a little conceited. 
ruby_red_vixen: do you wanna slap it 
sex_man_walter_88: Slap what? 
ruby_red_vixen: my boot baby 
sex_man_walter_88: You have boots on? 
sex_man_walter_88: Do I? Is it winter in here? 
ruby_red_vixen: booty i meant...dont you wanna smack it...hehe 
sex_man_walter_88: Do I want to strike you?
ruby_red_vixen: just my big juicy darier...dont you like big juicy ones 
sex_man_walter_88: I'm not familiar with some of these terms. Is there a legend somewhere on this site? 
sex_man_walter_88: Are you still there? 
sex_man_walter_88: Are you not talking because your mouth is full again? 
sex_man_walter_88: If it's full, just say nothing and I'll assume.
sex_man_walter_88: Hello? 
sex_man_walter_88: It’s full.
ruby_red_vixen has logged off 
sex_man_walter_88: Hello?
 
---
 
luscious: Hey hun. How you doin? 
sex_man_walter_88: I'm okay. 
luscious: You wanna cyber? 
sex_man_walter_88: Sure. 
luscious: Talk dirty to me 
sex_man_walter_88: Okay. 
sex_man_walter_88: How? 
luscious: Are you a pimp? 
sex_man_walter_88: I'm a student. 
luscious: What you learnin? 
sex_man_walter_88: It’s a broad course load. Maths, Sciences, History, French. I’m actually a French immersion student.
luscious: you takin sex ed? heh 
luscious: big load
luscious: You a white boy huh? 
sex_man_walter_88: Yes. 
luscious: mmm, some white meat. 
sex_man_walter_88: Wait, how did you know that? 
luscious: Tell me what you want white boy. 
sex_man_walter_88: Just to talk.
luscious: Then talk hun. 
luscious: Tell luscious what you want. 
luscious: You wanna get nasty wit yo mama? 
sex_man_walter_88: My Mother? 
luscious: ?? Na, yo mama. 
luscious: how old are you white meat?
sex_man_walter_88: 15. 
luscious has logged off 
sex_man_walter_88: Hello? 
sex_man_walter_88: Still there, Luscious? 
sex_man_walter_88: Hello? 
sex_man_walter_88Darn it.
 
---
 
daintygirl58: Hi sex man. 
sex_man_walter_88: Hi Dainty Girl. 
daintygirl58: How you doing honey? 
sex_man_walter_88: I'm good. I'm 20. 
daintygirl58: Well I'm a little older. Does that bother you? 
sex_man_walter_88: No, one of my best friends was 27, and she was a girl. 
daintygirl58: Well I'm a little older than that. 
sex_man_walter_88: Okay, it's not a competition. I was just showing you that it's not a problem. 
daintygirl58: So you wanna cyber then? 
sex_man_walter_88: Okay. What does it mean? 
daintygirl58: Sex honey. You wanna have cybersex with me? 
sex_man_walter_88: It's my first time. Sort of. Can you help me? 
daintygirl58: Sure sweetie. I can walk you through it. 
daintygirl58: That's what us older girls are good for. 
sex_man_walter_88: What does it mean to talk dirty? 
daintygirl58: That means to say all the dirty stuff that you wanna do. Or that you want me to do. What do you want me to do to you honey? 
sex_man_walter_88: Dirty stuff? Like what kind of dirty stuff? 
daintygirl58: Like oral. Or maybe a handjob. Or even backdoor. I love backdoor. 
daintygirl58: Do you? 
sex_man_walter_88: What is it?
daintygirl58: How old are you baby? 
sex_man_walter_88: I'm 20 years old. I was born July 4th, 1976. I promise. 
daintygirl58: Backdoor is anal baby. 
daintygril58: Do you want to try it with me? 
sex_man_walter_88: Over the computer? 
daintygirl58: Yeah honey. Just talk dirty. Do you want to touch me? 
sex_man_walter_88: I guess I don't understand how we would do it.
daintygirl58: Have you never been in a cybersex chatroom before? 
sex_man_walter_88: Of course I have. Because I’m a pimp. 
daintygirl58: I think you haven't. 
daintygirl58: What are you doing here? 
sex_man_walter_88: I just wanted to talk to some women. 
daintygirl58: About what? 
sex_man_walter_88: Not really about anything. My friend died. I went to my first funeral today, and it was terrible. 
sex_man_walter_88: I was hoping to get my mind off it. 
daintygirl58 has logged off 
sex_man_walter_88: Shoot. 
sex_man_walter_88: Bye Dainty Girl.
 
---
 
allie_sin: hey babe wanna cyber??? 
sex_man_walter_88:Yes. I do. 
allie_sin: what are u wearing?? 
sex_man_walter_88: I'm naked. 
allie_sin: lol thats a good start!!! 
sex_man_walter_88: Do you want me to talk dirty to you? 
allie_sin: lol thats even better!!
sex_man_walter_88: I would like to urinate on you. 
allie_sin: ??? u whattttt?!?!! 
sex_man_walter_88: I would like to straddle over you and use the restroom onto you, to make you unsanitary. Then handjobs and backdoor. 
allie_sin: ??? 
allie_sin: ?? what the fuck is wrong with u??! 
sex_man_walter_88: Why are you swearing? 
sex_man_walter_88My ears aren't garbage cans. 
sex_man_walter_88: You're very enthusiastic.
allie_sin: are u a retard or somethin?? 
sex_man_walter_88: I don't think so. 
allie_sin: than u are 
sex_man_walter_88: Then* 
allie_sin has logged off
 
---
 
ruby_red_vixen: hey baby 
sex_man_walter_88: Oh hi. How are you? 
ruby_red_vixen: im good baby...how you doin 
sex_man_walter_88: I'm feeling better actually, since we last spoke. This chatroom is pretty fun. 
ruby_red_vixen: oh fuck
sex_man_walter_88: But I’m still just learning. 
ruby_red_vixen has logged off 
sex_man_walter: Bye Ruby. It was nice seeing you again.
 
---
 
sex_man_walter_88: Hello. 
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Hey sex man. I've been looking for you allll day.
sex_man_walter_88: Oh, I'm sorry. 
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: It's okay. I'm soooo horny. 
sex_man_walter_88: Oh, I'm really sorry. I didn't realize you’d been looking for me. It's a good thing you found me. 
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Sure is. You ready for me? 
sex_man_walter_88: I think. 
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Okay, before we start you should know that I'm completely depraved. 
sex_man_walter_88: Oh. Thank you. It means a lot that you would confide like that. 
sex_man_walter_88: Can I tell you something now? 
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Of course. 
sex_man_walter_88: I'm not good at dirty talk. Never have been. Also I'm 20. I was born on America’s bicentennial. 
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: I'm not here to talk sex man, I'm here to fuck. And I'm gonna want you to be real rough with me, okay? 
sex_man_walter_88: No problem. If you have a closet I could lock you in it and then set your bed on fire. 
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Oh we're gonna set the bed on fire. 
sex_man_walter_88: Oh. Great. 
sex_man_walter_88: I’m improving. 
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: But first we need a safe word. 
sex_man_walter_88: What's that? 
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: It's a word, that if things get going too rough, we can say it and the other will stop what they're doing. 
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: But it has to be something neither of us would normally say, so we don’t accidentally stop each other in the heat of passion. *wink* 
sex_man_walter_88: Wow. You've thought of everything. 
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: I sure have. I'm gonna unzip your pants while you think of one. 
sex_man_walter_88: Oh, I have to think of it?
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Can you manage? 
sex_man_walter_88: Definitely, I have 9 hand written vocabulary books at home, so I have a huge vernacular for someone my age. 20. I don't know you that well yet, but I think you've chosen wisely as to who should be in charge of this word. 
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Speaking of huge. 
sex_man_walter_88: What? 
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Honey, you’re as big as my arm! And you’re not even hard yet! 
sex_man_walter_88: Oh. Okay. 
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: You mind if I stroke it while you think? 
sex_man_walter_88: No need. I've already got one. 
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Lay it on me. I'm just gonna slicken it up with my mouth if you don't mind. 
sex_man_walter_88: Uh, well hang on actually. I just have a question you need to answer before you put anything in your mouth. 
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: What is it sex man? 
sex_man_walter_88: Are you white? 
sex_man_walter_88: Caucasian, I mean. 
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Yeah. 
sex_man_walter_88: Okay, that's perfect. So am I. 
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Does that matter? 
sex_man_walter_88: Well, not for intercourse, or whatever you call this. But for our safe word it does. Because I was thinking, maybe our safe word could be the racial slur against African Americans. 
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: What?!
sex_man_walter_88: You don’t know it? I’m not going to say it. I would never say it because it is hateful. 
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Then what the fuck?! 
sex_man_walter_88: See, there's absolutely no reason that two white sex partners would say that word during intercourse, so it’s “safe”. And like I said, I would never, ever say it, which would make me incapable of stopping our intercourse, even if you wanted to use the restroom on me. (Which you probably don’t.) 
sex_man_walter_88: And if you said it, it would make you a sex-racist. 
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Are you fucking with me sex man?
sex_man_walter_88: No. I thought you said you were depraved. Which means “morally corrupt”. 
sex_man_walter_88: Shoot. My stupid internet time is about to run out. 
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: What?
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Where the fuck are you?? 
sex_man_walter_88: The library. I'm sorry. It was nice to meet you Kelly. Thank you for distracting me. 
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Huh?? From what?? 
sex_man_walter_88: My friend died. 
sex_man_walter_88 has logged off 
kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: ??
 
---
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