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Published February 03, 2013 More Info »
58 Funny Votes
19 Die Votes
Published February 03, 2013
  sex_man_walter_88: Hello?  ruby_red_vixen: hi baby. How are u?  sex_man_walter_88: Oh, hi.  sex_man_walter_88: Not very good, actually.  sex_man_walter_88: How are you?  ruby_red_vixen: why not good  sex_man_walter_88: A friend has just left me.  ruby_red_vixen: your girlfriend  sex_man_walter_88: No. Not exactly. Just a friend.  ruby_red_vixen: thats to bad  sex_man_walter_88: Yeah.  ruby_red_vixen: what did she look like baby  sex_man_walter_88: I don't know. She was a little taller than me. She was beautiful.  ruby_red_vixen: was she blond  sex_man_walter_88: She was, actually. Good guess.  ruby_red_vixen: so am i baby...and i have huge friends say im' gorgeous  sex_man_walter_88: That's nice of them. They must be nice.  ruby_red_vixen: Can i make you feel better baby...maybe i can make you forget about her  sex_man_walter_88: Probably not. But maybe you could distract me?  ruby_red_vixen: ive got all night lyaing on my bed...and i'm just in my you like htat  sex_man_walter_88: Htat?  ruby_red_vixen: that  sex_man_walter_88: Oh. Yes, it's fine. It's helping. Thank you.  ruby_red_vixen: why dont you come over to the bed  sex_man_walter_88: Alright. Where am I now?  ruby_red_vixen: im unbuckling your belt...does that turn u one  sex_man_walter_88: Turn me one what?  ruby_red_vixen: Turn u on sex_man_walter_88: Oh. Yes, it's okay. Thank you.  ruby_red_vixen: Just okay...i think we can do better than sliding down your patns...all the way down to the floor...and im laying u on the bed now  sex_man_walter_88: It feels good to lie down.  ruby_red_vixen: i havent even started u want me to touch your dick baby  sex_man_walter_88: Alright. If you’d like.  ruby_red_vixen: im gonna slide my mouth over it okay baby  sex_man_walter_88: Sure.  ruby_red_vixen: do u like that  sex_man_walter_88: How are you talking?  ruby_red_vixen: what  sex_man_walter_88: How are you talking with your mouth full?  ruby_red_vixen: i took it out for a second sex_man_walter_88: Oh. Of course.  sex_man_walter_88: Is it back in now? If it is just say nothing, and I'll assume.  ruby_red_vixen: Mmm...mmmmm...mmmm...mmmm....  sex_man_walter_88: Is everything okay?  ruby_red_vixen: yes am idoing  sex_man_walter_88: Oh. Fine. Does it taste okay? If that's not too forward.  ruby_red_vixen: It tastes like strawberrys baby  sex_man_walter_88: Seriously?  ruby_red_vixen: yea, u taste soooo good  sex_man_walter_88: That's strange, my body wash is mango. But can I tell you something?  ruby_red_vixen: anything baby  sex_man_walter_88: I haven't showered in a few days. I've just been in bed. That's why I asked.  ruby_red_vixen: must be your natural flavor baby...u taste so good...up and down...your so big  sex_man_walter_88: You're*  ruby_red_vixen: your u wanna pull my blond hair while i do it sex_man_walter_88: Maybe we shouldn't talk about your hair anymore.  ruby_red_vixen: ok...sorry baby...u can turn the lights off if you want  sex_man_walter_88: They were on?  ruby_red_vixen: of course...iwanted to see your hot body  sex_man_walter_88: I'm not hot. ruby_red_vixen: well it hink you you wanna know what i look like?  sex_man_walter_88: Okay, sure.  ruby_red_vixen: i have huge boobs  sex_man_walter_88: Yeah, I remember. ruby_red_vixen: with perfect little nipples...i have a thin waste...and a big ol butt  sex_man_walter_88: Wow.  ruby_red_vixen: You like that, huh?  sex_man_walter_88: No, it’s just... sex_man_walter_88: You’re a little conceited.  ruby_red_vixen: do you wanna slap it  sex_man_walter_88: Slap what?  ruby_red_vixen: my boot baby  sex_man_walter_88: You have boots on?  sex_man_walter_88: Do I? Is it winter in here?  ruby_red_vixen: booty i meant...dont you wanna smack it...hehe  sex_man_walter_88: Do I want to strike you? ruby_red_vixen: just my big juicy darier...dont you like big juicy ones  sex_man_walter_88: I'm not familiar with some of these terms. Is there a legend somewhere on this site?  sex_man_walter_88: Are you still there?  sex_man_walter_88: Are you not talking because your mouth is full again?  sex_man_walter_88: If it's full, just say nothing and I'll assume. sex_man_walter_88: Hello?  sex_man_walter_88: It’s full. ruby_red_vixen has logged off  sex_man_walter_88: Hello?   ---   luscious: Hey hun. How you doin?  sex_man_walter_88: I'm okay.  luscious: You wanna cyber?  sex_man_walter_88: Sure.  luscious: Talk dirty to me  sex_man_walter_88: Okay.  sex_man_walter_88: How?  luscious: Are you a pimp?  sex_man_walter_88: I'm a student.  luscious: What you learnin?  sex_man_walter_88: It’s a broad course load. Maths, Sciences, History, French. I’m actually a French immersion student. luscious: you takin sex ed? heh  luscious: big load luscious: You a white boy huh?  sex_man_walter_88: Yes.  luscious: mmm, some white meat.  sex_man_walter_88: Wait, how did you know that?  luscious: Tell me what you want white boy.  sex_man_walter_88: Just to talk. luscious: Then talk hun.  luscious: Tell luscious what you want.  luscious: You wanna get nasty wit yo mama?  sex_man_walter_88: My Mother?  luscious: ?? Na, yo mama.  luscious: how old are you white meat? sex_man_walter_88: 15.  luscious has logged off  sex_man_walter_88: Hello?  sex_man_walter_88: Still there, Luscious?  sex_man_walter_88: Hello?  sex_man_walter_88: Darn it.   ---   daintygirl58: Hi sex man.  sex_man_walter_88: Hi Dainty Girl.  daintygirl58: How you doing honey?  sex_man_walter_88: I'm good. I'm 20.  daintygirl58: Well I'm a little older. Does that bother you?  sex_man_walter_88: No, one of my best friends was 27, and she was a girl.  daintygirl58: Well I'm a little older than that.  sex_man_walter_88: Okay, it's not a competition. I was just showing you that it's not a problem.  daintygirl58: So you wanna cyber then?  sex_man_walter_88: Okay. What does it mean?  daintygirl58: Sex honey. You wanna have cybersex with me?  sex_man_walter_88: It's my first time. Sort of. Can you help me?  daintygirl58: Sure sweetie. I can walk you through it.  daintygirl58: That's what us older girls are good for.  sex_man_walter_88: What does it mean to talk dirty?  daintygirl58: That means to say all the dirty stuff that you wanna do. Or that you want me to do. What do you want me to do to you honey?  sex_man_walter_88: Dirty stuff? Like what kind of dirty stuff?  daintygirl58: Like oral. Or maybe a handjob. Or even backdoor. I love backdoor.  daintygirl58: Do you?  sex_man_walter_88: What is it? daintygirl58: How old are you baby?  sex_man_walter_88: I'm 20 years old. I was born July 4th, 1976. I promise.  daintygirl58: Backdoor is anal baby.  daintygril58: Do you want to try it with me?  sex_man_walter_88: Over the computer?  daintygirl58: Yeah honey. Just talk dirty. Do you want to touch me?  sex_man_walter_88: I guess I don't understand how we would do it. daintygirl58: Have you never been in a cybersex chatroom before?  sex_man_walter_88: Of course I have. Because I’m a pimp.  daintygirl58: I think you haven't.  daintygirl58: What are you doing here?  sex_man_walter_88: I just wanted to talk to some women.  daintygirl58: About what?  sex_man_walter_88: Not really about anything. My friend died. I went to my first funeral today, and it was terrible.  sex_man_walter_88: I was hoping to get my mind off it.  daintygirl58 has logged off  sex_man_walter_88: Shoot.  sex_man_walter_88: Bye Dainty Girl.   ---   allie_sin: hey babe wanna cyber???  sex_man_walter_88:Yes. I do.  allie_sin: what are u wearing??  sex_man_walter_88: I'm naked.  allie_sin: lol thats a good start!!!  sex_man_walter_88: Do you want me to talk dirty to you?  allie_sin: lol thats even better!! sex_man_walter_88: I would like to urinate on you.  allie_sin: ??? u whattttt?!?!!  sex_man_walter_88: I would like to straddle over you and use the restroom onto you, to make you unsanitary. Then handjobs and backdoor.  allie_sin: ???  allie_sin: ?? what the fuck is wrong with u??!  sex_man_walter_88: Why are you swearing?  sex_man_walter_88: My ears aren't garbage cans.  sex_man_walter_88: You're very enthusiastic. allie_sin: are u a retard or somethin??  sex_man_walter_88: I don't think so.  allie_sin: than u are  sex_man_walter_88: Then*  allie_sin has logged off   ---   ruby_red_vixen: hey baby  sex_man_walter_88: Oh hi. How are you?  ruby_red_vixen: im good you doin  sex_man_walter_88: I'm feeling better actually, since we last spoke. This chatroom is pretty fun.  ruby_red_vixen: oh fuck sex_man_walter_88: But I’m still just learning.  ruby_red_vixen has logged off  sex_man_walter: Bye Ruby. It was nice seeing you again.   ---   sex_man_walter_88: Hello.  kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Hey sex man. I've been looking for you allll day. sex_man_walter_88: Oh, I'm sorry.  kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: It's okay. I'm soooo horny.  sex_man_walter_88: Oh, I'm really sorry. I didn't realize you’d been looking for me. It's a good thing you found me.  kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Sure is. You ready for me?  sex_man_walter_88: I think.  kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Okay, before we start you should know that I'm completely depraved.  sex_man_walter_88: Oh. Thank you. It means a lot that you would confide like that.  sex_man_walter_88: Can I tell you something now?  kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Of course.  sex_man_walter_88: I'm not good at dirty talk. Never have been. Also I'm 20. I was born on America’s bicentennial.  kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: I'm not here to talk sex man, I'm here to fuck. And I'm gonna want you to be real rough with me, okay?  sex_man_walter_88: No problem. If you have a closet I could lock you in it and then set your bed on fire.  kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Oh we're gonna set the bed on fire.  sex_man_walter_88: Oh. Great.  sex_man_walter_88: I’m improving.  kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: But first we need a safe word.  sex_man_walter_88: What's that?  kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: It's a word, that if things get going too rough, we can say it and the other will stop what they're doing.  kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: But it has to be something neither of us would normally say, so we don’t accidentally stop each other in the heat of passion. *wink*  sex_man_walter_88: Wow. You've thought of everything.  kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: I sure have. I'm gonna unzip your pants while you think of one.  sex_man_walter_88: Oh, I have to think of it? kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Can you manage?  sex_man_walter_88: Definitely, I have 9 hand written vocabulary books at home, so I have a huge vernacular for someone my age. 20. I don't know you that well yet, but I think you've chosen wisely as to who should be in charge of this word.  kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Speaking of huge.  sex_man_walter_88: What?  kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Honey, you’re as big as my arm! And you’re not even hard yet!  sex_man_walter_88: Oh. Okay.  kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: You mind if I stroke it while you think?  sex_man_walter_88: No need. I've already got one.  kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Lay it on me. I'm just gonna slicken it up with my mouth if you don't mind.  sex_man_walter_88: Uh, well hang on actually. I just have a question you need to answer before you put anything in your mouth.  kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: What is it sex man?  sex_man_walter_88: Are you white?  sex_man_walter_88: Caucasian, I mean.  kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Yeah.  sex_man_walter_88: Okay, that's perfect. So am I.  kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Does that matter?  sex_man_walter_88: Well, not for intercourse, or whatever you call this. But for our safe word it does. Because I was thinking, maybe our safe word could be the racial slur against African Americans.  kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: What?! sex_man_walter_88: You don’t know it? I’m not going to say it. I would never say it because it is hateful.  kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Then what the fuck?!  sex_man_walter_88: See, there's absolutely no reason that two white sex partners would say that word during intercourse, so it’s “safe”. And like I said, I would never, ever say it, which would make me incapable of stopping our intercourse, even if you wanted to use the restroom on me. (Which you probably don’t.)  sex_man_walter_88: And if you said it, it would make you a sex-racist.  kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Are you fucking with me sex man? sex_man_walter_88: No. I thought you said you were depraved. Which means “morally corrupt”.  sex_man_walter_88: Shoot. My stupid internet time is about to run out.  kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: What? kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Where the fuck are you??  sex_man_walter_88: The library. I'm sorry. It was nice to meet you Kelly. Thank you for distracting me.  kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: Huh?? From what??  sex_man_walter_88: My friend died.  sex_man_walter_88 has logged off  kelly_put_a_spell_on_you: ??   ---