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November 17, 2009


PD 13 was a resounding success on Friday. The weather was perfect and, as the guy that started it all in 1981 said, “The weather was so bad this summer that when people get a chance to ride, they did!” And, friends, that made PD 13 2009 a huge success. Indeed, the little Beach Town on the north coast of Lake Erie was bursting at the seams

Here are a couple things Grumpy found humorous about the whole experience. Hope you enjoy!

1.   As I stated earlier, my 20 year old daughter announced that she and four of her girlfriends were going to venture into Dover for a night of partying. Turns out that they ended up at the Norfolk Hotel, which probably is considered the centre of the universe during any PD 13.


She told me about waiting in line for two hours until this cool guy slipped the doorman $80 bucks to let them in. Well, hello, there were 5 blonde 20 year old beauties who’d already been drinking standing there. “Enough said, my friends!”And, of course, my little girl said she didn’t have to buy a drink all evening. Duh!


She said she met many people, including one of my son’s younger ball coaches. I said, “What did he have to say””. She answered, “ I don’t remember.” She met one of our former female basketball players who is going back and forth to Nashville try to get her country singing career on track. (This girl once put a picture of her boobs on Face Book) I said, “What did she have to say?” My daughter said, “I don’t remember.” Apparently, free drinks cause memory loss.


The bar was filled with bikers, both male and female and those that were hard to determine. One 40 year old Dike, dressed in leathers, said to my daughter that she was “hot!”After that, my little sweetie didn’t venture too far from her table.


The highlight of the evening was meeting the famous Lori Fay. She’s the long in the tooth eccentric lady who wanders the beach topless all summer. She sells nude pictures of herself to tourists, walks around in a fur coat (naked underneath except for her famous thong) flashing the guys ever once in a while. You see there is no law against toplessness in Ontario.


She tried to sell a nude postcard of herself to my daughter for $5.00. My daughter said, “It was really gross, Dad!”


A bunch of kids in Dover have created a Face Book page about her. Read the section about first encounters (Discussion) with Lori Fay. There are some humorous gems there.  Some of these kids saw her boobs when they were toddlers. Funny posts, my friends. 




Take a look at the pictures and sample post cards, too. EEEEEWWWWWWW!


Hey, you creative ones, just maybe there’s a movie script or a character study lurking in this experience.


BTW, I asked my daughter how they all got home that night. “Oh, one of the bouncers took us, Dad. He’s got this major crush on Sammi-Jo!”


You know, after hearing all of this I don’t know why in the world I was even worried about her.


Just shoot me, will ya!


2.   The organizers in town were caught a little by surprise by the turnout as is evidenced in this quote from the local rag. Here's the poop on that!


“Uh, oh! Friday morning when he ( Committee Chair) saw what a fine day it was going to be, as a part of the last minute scramble, he ordered 20 additional portable porta-potties for the downtown.”


“Hello, this is Bob over at PD 13, send me 20 Jimmie-Johns, STAT!”


There is something about the image of thousands of bikers and no place to take care of business that is gives me the willies.

"Daddy, why is everyone spilling their Koolaid?"

3.   Grace United Church did a killing on PD 13 as can be noted from this quote from the paper. It was reported the three huge pots of chili, featuring 26 pounds of meat were quickly sold at $5.00 per bowl.


“We actually have more chili in the house that we made for a visiting choir, so we’re going to steal from Peter to pay Paul.”


There’s nothing like a bunch of elderly church ladies slinging chili with profit in mind. I’d say they’d all been driven by that biker spirit, wouldn’t you?  They sold out of their “nickel bowls” of chili. 


But, I’m also thinking about those thousands of bikers charged up on chili and beer. The ozone layer would definitely be taking a hit that day, what with all the bike fumes and flatulence.  

"Hello! It's me, Bob, again. Can you drop off 10 more porta-potties at Grace Church. And, while you at it, pick up some re-breathers and gas masks for the volunteers."

Talk to you soon, if not later.