- The Constitution It's right in the Book of Lenny (just before Carl).
- Jesus wanted a flat tax.
- Sarah Palin She is so awesome she has to be in there somewhere.
- Barrack Hussein Obama He's one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Death, Famine, Barrack, and Pelosi.
- Ronald Reagan Ronnie was that guy who did that thing... right?
- The Eight Commandments God said 'em and Christine believes'em.
- Gay Jews from the Democratic Party killed Jesus.
- When the Bible states "Suffer not a witch to live." (Exodus 22:18) God was only kidding around.
- Noah was the first winner of Survivor.
- Thinking of having sex will send you to HELL! Oh wait, it really does say that?