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January 30, 2009


(From my blog at whatgives.gainesville.com)

I get that people cheat in relationships.
If the movie “Fatal Attraction” didn’t make folks stay zipped up, there’s nothing I can do.
Besides, I love bunnies.
But what beyond baffles me is people who go on reality TV shows and cheat.
Does it really never occur to these folks that time has not been suspended? That their significant other, family, friends, basically everyone will eventually see what they did?
In high-definition, no less.
Sure, these rocket scientists try to hide, but the camera always finds them.
Reality TV has a kind of sixth sense about anyone getting any kind of sex anywhere within a 10 mile radius.
At no point does it occur to these star-crossed, idiot lovers: Hello! Camera filming you. Camera ... filming ... you.
How do you refute that later?
“Well, you see honey, it may look like I’m leading that woman into my bedroom, but that’s actually the living room. Why is there a bed in there? Uh ... that’s not a bed. You, uh, have you had your eyes tested lately?”
Phone rings.
“Excuse me, dear. I have to get that. Grandma? How is everything going? I ... oh, you are watching the show? Calm down. I am not going to hell in a handbasket. Stop yelling. Think about your heart. You’re going to kick what! Hey, I’m your favorite grandson remember? What do you mean not anymore? Hello? Are you still there?”
“Honey, can you believe my grandmother hung up on me? Why are you looking at me that way? No that’s not me on the TV making out with that woman. I mean, yes, it is me, but we’re not making out. She is choking and I’m performing the Heimlich maneuver. Yes, that is how it’s performed. Are you a doctor all of a sudden? Did you get your medical degree while I was away? The important thing is that she survived!”
Yeah, real smooth.