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February 25, 2016
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A proposed law in California would require for pornography actors to wear protective eye goggles. Porn stars wearing protective eye gear might seem weird, but we came up with the following scenes that will make the presence of goggles totally sexy.

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Protective eye gear will only make these porno films sexier.

A proposed law in California would require for pornography actors to wear protective gear while on set, including condoms, dental dams, and protective eye goggles. Porn stars wearing protective eye gear might seem weird, but we’ve figured out how to make it work.


Construction Site
Sparks will fly when Candy finds a welder to get her broken metal bra strap fixed and ends up having the hottest sex of her life with welder John — but not before they both put on their sexy welding helmets. Safety first!

Opthamologist
When Mr. Spanks, an unassuming patient, goes to see Dr. Ginger for his annual ophthalmology appointment, she ends up examining more than just his eyes. But before this sexy appointment can begin, she must dilate his pupils. And also her own. And put on pupil dilation glasses. Sexy.

Racquetball Game
Mark and Brad, ultra-competitive racquetball players, have an intense, sweaty, and naked fuck. Balls will fly all over the place, but not into anyone’s eyes, thanks to their protective racquetball eyewear.

3D Movie Theater
Billy and Krystal, two innocent teens living in a two-dimensional world, watch the world’s first 3D movie. Watch their lust bloom when they put on their red/blue 3D glasses and suddenly see each other’s massive 3D genitals for the first time.

Medieval Jousting Tournament
Chase and Charity get down and dirty in the 10th century with some horse- and face-chainmail S&M play. Chase hopes it isn’t too hard to get his sword through all that protective face armor.

Tanning Salon
Brandy enjoys her weekly stripper tan when Kyle — eyes covered in tanning booth sunnies — accidentally stumbles into her tanning booth. Their covered eyes are safe, but both of their backs get extremely burned because of how long they fuck in missionary position in their tight tanning booth.

Virtual Reality
Amber may not have a hot man around, but that won’t stop her from “fucking.” She gets a “wild night” when she puts her virtual reality headset on and has the safest possible “sex” with lots of “people.”

Home For The Blind
Things are getting kinky behind those dark blindness glasses at this home for the blind. Angel and Andre may not be able to see each other, but they can still feel everything with their hands.

Google Headquarters
Google Glass may be a thing of the past, but not for Sergey and Larry, two Google Glass enthusiasts who won’t let go of the technology they invented. Watch these tech-nerds have a hot fuck while simultaneously surfing the internet for porn on their geeky eyewear.

Adjacent Immunodeficiency Bubbles
Damian and Anastasia, two naked hotties with Severe Combined Immunodeficiency Syndrome (a.k.a. Hymic Alymphoplasia), bounce their booties and boobies up against each other’s bubbles, but never exchange any bodily fluids because exposure to any germs would immediately kill them.

Large Cave In Antarctica
Stuart and Carl, two one-eyed Minions, always have their goggles on and are ready to fuck at all times. This porno is especially great for kids!

Bee Hive
Lola and Cherry are as passionate about bees and honey as they are about each other’s hot bodies. They’ll keep their pretty faces protected with bee veils, but they’ll have to keep their EpiPens handy for all their exposed, naked honey-covered skin.

U2 Concert
Bono — donning his signature shades — humps a second Bono — also in shades, of course — while U2 songs play in the background.

Sierra Leone Hospital
Just your typical nurse-patient porno! Nurse Tiffany treats Johnny, a hot — literally sweating — Ebola patient. Tyvek-hazmat-suited Nurse Tiffany may not have to worry about catching an STD, but she definitely should worry about catching Ebola!

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