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August 28, 2013

Chapter 32 – During the Bin Laden Assassination

Chapter 32 – During the Bin Laden Assassination


On May 2nd 2011, Osama Bin Laden was shot and killed inside his residential compound near Abbottabad, Pakistan. 18 hours later, the crew of ‘Zero Dark Thirty’ moved quickly into the area to begin principal photography. This is the first source to release the accurate whereabouts of Barack Obama during the assassination. Eyewitnesses have reported that the President was 13 minutes into ‘Austin Powers: Goldmember’. Actor Mike Myers had this to say:

“We had a lot of fun filming number 3. I was happy after the second but Jay (Roach) persuaded me to come back… We started filming on the 7th and it was done in about two months. Yeah, a real quick shoot.”

Ironically, a ‘RISK’ board was found by the side of the Presidential couples’ bed. Only 1 player seemed to have been playing. Also, in the evening of May 2nd, 2 nunchuks for the Nintendo Wii and a pair of crocs were discovered by interns in the White House. No badges seem to have been added to the crocs. After receiving a phone call from the United States Marine Corp at 6:12pm, Michelle has been reported to add ‘Black Hawk Down’ to their Amazon wish list. After 25 minutes of discussion, about military films and television, the President is said to have shouted at the First Lady after continued bickering as a result of her pitch to add the “Mash from ‘MASH’ into the food section of the Smithsonian Museum”. The only taped recording of the President was obtained, in the hours before he addressed the nation of the news. The President is bent over a DVD/VHS combo player. The recording begins:

“No, I’m like 20 minutes into Goldmember… It’s the one with Beyonce… How long have I got before the speech? If I pause it he(re)… Crap, I ejected it, hopefully it’s one of those players that does last memory, we’ll see later won’t we”.

A calm, collected Barack Obama moments before he tells millions of Americans that the biggest manhunt in history has ended.