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Anthony Weiner is BACK! The disgraced congressman is considering a run for mayor and as a comedy website, we couldn't be more excited. We’re also in a position to offer some advice: Anthony, if you’re reading this, the “weiner” jokes aren’t going to stop. We know you want to get past your 2011 Twitter scandal by making people think you’re a squeaky clean guy again but it just ain’t gonna happen. If you really want to make a comeback, you need to embrace your sexed-up image and go even further with it...you need to become Tony Penis. 

Tony Penis is the Stefan Urquell to your Steve Urkel. He’s hip, he’s sexy and he’s not ashamed to love the ladies. Below is a chart of how Anthony Weiner handles things and how Tony Penis does. Anthony, please pay close attention as this very well might save your career:

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