The Apple Watch is here, and we have one! We’re excited to get our dirty hands on it for a product review.
We got the 42mm Apple Watch Sport with black wrist band.
Our Sport features a band made of fluoroelastomer, a big word for rubbery plasticky stuff.
Each side of the band is a single piece of material and has a grippy texture, lending the watch its sporting feel.
The watch has two buttons: a dial that can be pushed and a simple press button.
Here’s another look at the buttons.
Tip to tip, the Apple Watch sport is 10.5” long.
The watch face itself is made of something Apple is calling Ion-X glass.
One very clear missing feature is a Find My Apple Watch type thing.
As of now it has no GPS, so if lost—in, say, a pile of loose, used dildos—you cannot use your device to find your watch.
For larger folks, it’s worth noting the watch can fit around thicker wrists.
The power cord is pretty long.
For telling time, it’s far superior to my anal preparer pump.
The activity monitor functions like a pedometer, counting and tracking your steps with G-force technology.
Here’s another picture of the watch.
Sorry. HERE’s another picture of the watch.
In summary, the Apple Watch Sport tells the time, works worse than your phone at all the things your phone does,
and it makes you look like a dick.