Full Credits

Stats & Data

356Funny
43Die
12,310
Views
June 08, 2015
Published
Description

A straight-forward review of the Apple Watch.

The Apple Watch is here, and we have one! We’re excited to get our dirty hands on it for a product review.


12.jpg

We got the 42mm Apple Watch Sport with black wrist band.


Our Sport features a band made of fluoroelastomer, a big word for rubbery plasticky stuff.
Each side of the band is a single piece of material and has a grippy texture, lending the watch its sporting feel.

8.jpg

The watch has two buttons: a dial that can be pushed and a simple press button.

4.jpg

Here’s another look at the buttons.

3.jpg

And another.

16.jpg

Tip to tip, the Apple Watch sport is 10.5” long.

15.jpg

The watch face itself is made of something Apple is calling Ion-X glass.

13.jpg

One very clear missing feature is a Find My Apple Watch type thing.
As of now it has no GPS, so if lost—in, say, a pile of loose, used dildos—you cannot use your device to find your watch.

7.jpg

For larger folks, it’s worth noting the watch can fit around thicker wrists.

5.jpg

The power cord is pretty long.

10.jpg

For telling time, it’s far superior to my anal preparer pump.

6.jpg

The activity monitor functions like a pedometer, counting and tracking your steps with G-force technology.

11.jpg

Here’s another picture of the watch.

17.jpg

Sorry. HERE’s another picture of the watch.

1.jpg

In summary, the Apple Watch Sport tells the time, works worse than your phone at all the things your phone does,
and it makes you look like a dick.

14.jpg
Advertisement