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December 04, 2014
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Speaking in public is terrifying for many. Joe walks you through tips that will have you feeling great before, during, and after your presentation!

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Imagining your audience in their underwear is an old trick with nasty side effects, like instantaneous vomiting, that may not always be worth it. So how do you make sure you nail your next class presentation/your big TED Talk? Follow these simple tips!

Tip #1: Get a Confidence Boost

Fear of public speaking often stems from a lack of confidence. Get a haircut. People will compliment you, which makes you feel great. If you’re a girl, be sure to cut off enough hair so guys will actually notice. Otherwise, you’ll be let down when the compliments you’re searching for don’t come your way. (What a waste of $35!)

Trick yourself into thinking you’re experienced with getting people’s attention by dropping loud objects and quietly saying “listen up” whenever you’re in a crowded space. Turn your TV up loud and shout “Can I get your attention!” As you continue to speak, slowly turn the volume down until it’s on mute. You’ll be convinced you can handle any crowd.

Post a picture of someone more attractive than you on your mirror. Look at this picture and proclaim “I am good looking” for 3 sets of 10 reps or until you believe the picture is your own reflection. If you’re a perfect 10/10, may I suggest putting up a picture of someone with a great personality and humility?

Tip #2: Repeat

If people hear something repeated, they’ll think it’s important. So why stop at repeating only the main points? Recite your entire speech again!

Right when your audience thinks you’re done, walk off stage and immediately come back for an encore, but you’re encore is the exact speech you just gave. Your audience will be like “Whoa! I should take notes this time!”

If that doesn’t work, then don’t limit yourself to just the speech.. Start the whole day over. Go home and climb in bed. Wake up, shower, go potty, start to make breakfast, realize you didn’t wash your hands, wash your hands, continue to make breakfast, eat breakfast. Continue until you arrive at the speech again!

Tip #3: Establish Intellectual Dominance

You want your audience to feel like you know more than them, so they feel they can trust anything you say. Look up the Wikipedia page for rocket science, and begin your speech by simply dropping facts. Feel free to make up big words as you go. Talk with confidence and no one will question the “flinginshauserbuttonyboo” that connects to the rocket’s engine!

Giving a speech in front of a group of rocket scientists? No problem. Ask them existential questions like “¿Qué significa la vida?” That’s Spanish for “What is the meaning of life?” After they are done being amazed at your bilingualness, help them relax by reminding them the meaning to every word is in the dictionary. This way your proving your intelligence while letting them know they shouldn’t over think your ideas!

Tip #4: Long Pauses

Pause for 10 seconds, and it looks like you forgot your train of thought. Pause for a minute, and people are looking up from their phones to look at you. Pause for 5 minutes and the sound of people moving to the edge of their seats with anticipation will wake the nappers. Pause for 30 minutes and you’re guaranteed to have everyone on board.
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A big pause in your speech gains attention. A big pause in an article gets people to reflect on what I have said, while also weeding out the losers that clicked away and moved on with their lives. If someone walks out during your 30-minute pause, they aren’t worth your time anyways!

Tip #5: Repeat, Repeat

If people hear something repeated, they’ll think it’s important. So why stop at repeating only the main points? Recite your entire speech again!

Right when your audience thinks you’re done, walk off stage and immediately come back for an encore, but you’re encore is the exact speech you just gave. Your audience will be like “Whoa! I should take notes this time!”

If that doesn’t work, then don’t limit yourself to just the speech.. Start the whole day over. Go home and climb in bed. Wake up, shower, go potty, start to make breakfast, realize you didn’t wash your hands, wash your hands, continue to make breakfast, eat breakfast. Continue until you arrive at the speech again!

Tip #6: Constant Eye Contact

The simplest way to enhance yourself as a presenter and convince your audience to see things your way is with sustained, passionate eye contact.

The moment you step on stage, find the most important person (MIP) in the room and look him/her directly in the eye. Do not break this connection until you walk off the stage. If you can make it, do not blink. At the very least, blink less than the MIP.

Utilize your 30-minute pause to make this eye contact even more intense. Slowly walk off the stage and directly towards this person. Get your faces close enough to touch noses. This is single-handedly the best way to display confidence in your subject matter. After about a minute, casually walk backwards to the stage and resume your speech.

Tip #8: Make Your Points Short and Sweet

Example: If people hear something repeated, they’ll think it’s important. When I was four my parents, Carmie and Rex (their real names!), bought me a dog named Sparky! I loved playing fetch with Sparky. He would go hide a stick somewhere in the yard, then I would find it and bring it back to him. It was so fun. But my favorite thing was feeding Sparky. When I asked Mom about dinner I would have to spell it or else Sparky would get too excited (just like the way babies get tears of happiness when you accidentally say vegetables around them). Sparky correlated words like “dinner,” “food,” and “yummy yummy in my tummy tummy” to getting fed because I repeated those words while feeding him. So why stop at repeating only the main points? Recite your entire speech again!

Good Luck!

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