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You look sad. 

You look lonely.

 At this point, I'd set you up with a chimpanzee if I thought it would bring you back to the world. 

 
'Ello, I'm Michael Caine. Bestiality aside, you really are a terrific dame and there's no reason why you should not be on a date with a terrific gent right now. There is no gent more terrific than "Christian Bale", who knows it better than I? He's just a happy gentleman, a British one who can do a decent American accent who likes hanging out at Italian cafes! 
 
Star of the movies "American Psycho", Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy, and "The Fighter" for which he won an Academy Award , Christian Bale is one aitch ee double hockey sticks of a guy. ChristianBaleMingle.com is the number one niche website devoted to helping you find your match in the form of a strikingly handsome British actor - not all of them are! -  who has found mainstream success in the world of blockbusters yet still manages to maintain artistic integrity. 
 
He will go on a date with you for forty-five minutes maximum as scheduling allots, assuming you pay for it and he doesn't have to sign your arms. You're not allowed to tell your friends you went on a date with Christian Bale, but you will always have the memory! You probably can not even process what I'm saying over this thick accent and incredibly profound introduction. Do not even think about leaking the tapes, the boy is doing it from the good of his heart. 
 
 
 
Here are some real-life testimonials, the rest of the women could not speak for tears of joy or lack of known whereabouts! 
 
 
"Mr. Bale gets so in character that the entire evening he berated a waiter because one of our breadsticks had somehow been snapped cleanly in two. The busboy came while he was still in the bathroom, and took away his half-finished mostaccioli, and I was looking forward to watching one of his rages again because my mom always told me I picked men that were bad for me, but then Batman flew out of the bathroom and I didn't see Christian again for the rest of the night. It would have been so cool if they met, and it did not occur to me until later  I have never seen Christian Bale and Batman in the same place at the same time. I have never seen Val Kilmer and Batman in the same place at the same time either. I've never seen a George Clooney film and I have never heard of Michael Keaton. After waiting two hours or so for him to return it was time for me to claim my things from the coat check and find my own way home."  
 
- Penelope, 49, secretary 
 
 
 
"When I watched "Empire of the Sun" back in 1987, I never would have guessed that kid would grow up to have a perfectly rounded goatee let alone turn into Batman or Dicky Eklund! What an evening!" 
 
- Gloria, 47, accountant 
 
 
"Two of Mr. Bale's most popular characters, Batman and Bateman, have a letter difference of only one vowel." 
 
- Velma, 29, IMDB fact-checker. 
 
 
 
"I asked him to do the voice for me, and he did! What a terrific Boston accent!" 
 
-  Irene, 42, hardcore Sox fan. 
 
 
 
"I couldn't stay the night, but I went back to his place and all his white furniture was covered in plastic and he was talking insanely fast! He was toting an axe. I knew where it was going, so I ran!" 
 
- Kathy, 37,  lies currently being exposed. 
 
 
 
So go on a date with Christian Bale today! He's Batman, he's Bruce Wayne, he's Bateman, he's a fighter, he's a lover, he's a toker, he caught Joker, he plays online poker, he looks great in white t-shirts and black ones, he looks great with facial hair and without. Could you ask for anything more than forty-ish minutes with a man this fiercely passionate who looked really weirdly skinny in "The Machinist"? Fuck no! 
 
 Sign up for free today, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, and stop faking your own death! 
 
 
 
 
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