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May 10, 2013

A public protest for egg equality quickly evolves into a bloody riot in the streets of San Francisco.



Ruby Randall, DOUCHER member and lesbian, suplexes a police officer to the groud during the riot for egg equality.

SAN FRANCISCO-A protest held by The Domestic Organization for Upholding Civil and Humane Egg Rights, better known as DOUCHER, escaladed into a riot in front of City Hall yesterday. “We believe in equality for all eggs, no matter if they’re red, blue, pink or even multicolored with white crayon written all over them. It’s insensitive and derogatory to refer to them as ‘colored’ and we must to put a stop to it,” said incarcerated DOUCHER president Gus Hudson, adding that there has been inequality between Colored Eggs and Egg Whites for far too long. “We will fight for as long as we have to. Cops and politicians don’t scare us. This riot is only the beggining of DOUCHER.” Hudson went on to say that "Fuck Easter" T-shirts are available for $23 and asked reporters to call his mom to have her bail him out. Upon reaching her, she responded “My son is dead to me.”