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April 28, 2017

Our bespoke denim slacks are super authentic.

The Secret Behind Our Artisanal Denim

Thanks for accidentally clicking on our Facebook video! We are so glad you’re curious about the story behind our authentic bespoke denim slacks.

First, we scour the earth for the most sustainable, off-the-grid farmers we can find. One of our most prized suppliers is a commune in the mountains of Peru. They practice the ancient tradition of goat farming, where an enclave of goats cultivates the plushest cotton you’ve ever touched. After the seeds are planted, the goats freely roam the fields, feeling the sweet wind on their cheeks, chewing up the sprouting seedlings and spitting them out, back into the receptive earth. The constant pitter-patter of their hooves tills the soil over the summer months. On the eve of the crisp autumnal equinox, their human counterparts harvest the luxuriously soft, tender, succulent cotton plants.

Insider tip: Our partner site, GotYourGoat.com, offers goat kebabs fresh from the slaughter, which takes place after the harvest is complete. For maximum authenticity, allow the juices to drip down your chin onto your jeans – it’s an aromatic hand-stained detail!

Back in NYC, we collaborate with real women to distress the denim, each tapping into her inner goddess. No, they don’t wear them! They beat the crap out of them in a $90 boutique class while being yelled at by a gorgeous Zeus-like instructor wearing nothing but our jeans. They have access to a variety of wooden sticks, old-fashioned washing boards, rocks found on nature walks, and used coffee grinds to give an I’ve-had-these-forever look to your brand new pants. Scratching, clawing and stomping are encouraged, because self-expression is beautiful! During the cool-down, sacred coconut water is sprinkled on each woman’s chakras. As they blot their shiny foreheads with the jeans, they embed a rich patina of human sweat and plant-based protein that cannot be replicated.

For the last step, we allow rescue dogs from a local shelter to gently nibble on the pants in all the right places…so the hems, pockets and knees are just about to tear, but won’t actually rip until the first time you sit down. Each purchase comes with a photo of the adorable pup whose teeth marks you can feel in your buttery soft jeans. The dogs are kept in an immaculate and totally humane facility that you would be cool with if you saw it.

Now that you know our story, we hope you choose to purchase a pair of our designer denim. Your butt will look amazing in them.