Are you a crooked elected politician, you know, the kind who would steal $50 off his own mother while her back was turned if you thought you could get away with it?

Do you have a mistress and cheat on your wife with her?

Send your mistress a MemoryTag Greeting Card with video capability to tell her how much you appreciate her, how much she means to your political career of deception, avarice, greed, petty cruelty, perversion, ego mania, and how you appreciate the wild sex she gives you and how she has been a refuge from the old battleax you married.

MemoryTag has cards that celebrate sexual lust.

We can all appreciate skills in whatever form. Dishonesty among elected officials is a skill.

It all started with phone sex when you asked your mistress to contribute money to your campaign. You said something that was lewd and suggestive and totally inappropriate over the phone—-in other words, the normal way you deal with and represent constituents. One hot remark led to another, back and forth.

Oh what a turn-on!

You’re going to dispense with the needless formalities. You tell her, “I’m going to mouth you over the phone.”

“Oh yes yes! Harder! You’ve conquered me. I’m yours.”

And she really was. That was easy.

Is phone sex a date? It can be if you both mutually enjoyed it.

Your first date with this woman your mistress was actually a phone sex date made from your campaign headquarters. From there you skipped the average, boring, dating process of getting a mistress—you know—the whole bullsh’t flowers at the door routine, now we’re in my car and at a restaurant, dinner was great and I’m telling charming, funny jokes, and then a movie and after that to a bar for a drink, and then finally up to her room and the clothes are off.

No, as an elected leader, you’re too important for that preliminary BS.

No, you just ordered her to submit, and she did.

One other earlier attempt at getting a mistress didn’t work out so well. Remember that one? There was this hot chick, blonde, hot, cute, full of the devil. You put the same bite on her that you did your current mistress, but it didn’t work out.

During phone sex with her, you licked the phone receiver.Then you told her you did this. It was a big mistake. She was revolted, disgusted. She angrily said, “I seem to attract kinky guys!”

Imagine that. This was the night after the previous night when you’d held her naked in your arms and she said, “Throw me on the bed.”

Oh sure, she wants me to abuse her like an insatiable warrior animal of uncontrollable lust, but then the next night over the phone she becomes a Victorian prude, just because I was honest and told her I had taken advantage of an inanimate object (phone), a simple piece of technology, to get aroused.

I was working at the time in my office. I was bored. What did she expect? That was the end of our relationship. I thought, never lick over the phone and tell.

But not you, my current mistress, you’ll do anything I ask.

And what about my stay-at-home wife and the children?

You can’t deal with her. You’re sick of her. She’s become a nag that has to be gotten rid of, but you’re afraid of the financial and political repercussions if you do.

Better to have a mistress.

She doesn’t understand you, your wife. All she did was befriend you back when you were a sniveling, draft dodging college student who had no money and she took you in and fed you like you were a stray dog and then married you and stood by you after your first recall election where voters tried to get rid of you. Because of your crooked dealings (they were crooked but justified it’s called survival). She lied for you too, told reporters how you never did anything wrong and had done public service work that you really didn’t do and the newspaper didn’t investigate it further and WHEW!

You got away with it. The recall effort didn’t have enough signatures.

Get a MemoryTag card, perhaps one that says “I want to pound you.”

That’s romantic don’t you think? You can use your smart phone to record a message to your mistress of lustful desire and thanks. Using the download app, you place the video on the card. Your mistress opens the card, reads the message, and using her smartphone plays back your video.

There you are, promising her a role in your new government when you reach the White House.

MemoryTag has cards for every need, sexual and otherwise, thank you cards, sympathy cards, get well cards, birthdays greeting cards, birthday quotes and birthday messages, wedding cards, congratulations cards, Father’s and Mother’s Day cards, Happy Valentine’s Day cards, funny birthday cards, weird greeting cards and more.

There’s even one for you, the political hack of any party.