MAR. 3, 2012
A man in Toronto has pled guilty to bigamy when it was discovered that he had married 19 different women and lied about it.
He could face up to 90 days in jail, but really, hasn’t he been punished enough?
This is a guy who has to pretend he cares about “Dancing with the Stars” 19 times a week!
A cellphone’s auto-corrected text message prompted a lockdown at a school in Georgia this week, when a student accidentally sent their friend a message saying there was a “gunman” in the hallway, meaning to say they were “gunna” be there.
Everyone was so ducking scared, they chat their pants.
This week, a woman in Utah gave birth to her third consecutive child to be born on a Leap Day.
An amazingly timed feat begat an incredibly obscure trivia item that her friends just nod and pretend to care about.
During a hospital check up in China, it was discovered that a woman who swallowed a thermometer 44 years ago still had it lodged inside her lung.
She may be dumb, but gentlemen, she does not have a gag reflex.
In what might be the most disgusting news story ever reported, a man in New Mexico was sentenced to two years in jail for selling samples of yogurt that he had tainted with his own semen.
Coming soon, it’s the Activia dancing ultrasound.
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