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August 07, 2017

Al Gore is back with a sequel to “An Inconvenient Truth.” Here are some of the most concerning things discussed in “An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power.”

More than a decade after the release of An Inconvenient Truth, Al Gore is back with another documentary, An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power. Like the first movie, it’s full of troubling, difficult-to-hear truths about the devastating effects of climate change on the planet. Here are some of the most shocking facts from the new movie.

•Clouds now consist of 90 percent plastic soda can rings.

•The Abominable Snowman has been downgraded to just the Abominable Man. His name is Mark.

•If the Earth continues warming at current rates, by 2045 the whole planet will be hotter than the 1998 movie Wild Things.

• There’s so much smog in the sky that it acts as a protective shield if you stare at the sun. Go ahead, stare at the sun, it’s fine.

• Trees: important.

•There’s a “garbage island” the size of Texas floating around the Pacific Ocean, and it has single-payer health care.

• Ironically, the fumes coming off of science book bonfires help bees pollinate more efficiently.

• Something about oil?

•Hairspray leads to a hole in the ozone layer; Hairspray is a delightful romp with an important message. Many still gets these two things confused.

• Not only has the hole in the ozone layer increased, but the gigantic billboard proclaiming the DVD release of Hairspray that’s been covering up the hole in the ozone layer is rapidly disintegrating.

• Penguins have to wear shorts now, and, like everyone, they look weird in them.

• American schoolchildren rank #196 out of 200 countries in ability to breathe carbon dioxide.

• The average American’s carbon footprint is now 11, whatever that means.

•The earth is getting warmer and the summer is getting longer, and world-class idiots think this is great because they like it when it’s hot outside.

• The leading cause of childhood poisonings is lead-laced drinking water.

• The number-one source of minerals and vitamins in the American diet is lead-laced drinking water.

• The earth’s core is made of spiders. Every time the Earth’s average temperature rises, the protective ice layer around that core melts a little, releasing millions of spiders. That’s why there are so many spiders these days.

• The Earth was on the brink of a catastrophic, irreversible draught, but you took a slightly shorter shower last week, so now everything is cool.

• Even more harrowing stats can be found on Al Gore’s new album Almatic, and it is straight fire.

• The inconvenient truth? It was inside us all along.