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August 12, 2012

Why Didn't Marty's parents recognize him

Back to the Future had a pretty happy ending for Marty Mcfly. He helped his dad kick Biff's ass. He saved Doc from the Libyans. He even inspired Chuck Berry by playing a song by Chuck Berry before it was written by Chuck Berry . Yeah, I guess you could say that Marty Mcfly was cooler than the other side of the pillow. Calvin Klein was even cooler. Calvin dressed cool, knew how to smooth talk and basically invented skateboarding. It's now wonder that Lorraine Baines fell head over heels for him.


So, like 30 years later when George and Lorraine had a family, and their youngest Marty was in high school, why didn't they notice it? Marty looked exactly like Calvin Klein. I'm surprised George wasn't like, " Oh hey Lorraine, Do you remember that guy Calvin from high school? Yeah the guy who jumped in front of your dad's car. The guy who made Biff crash into the back of that manure truck. You know the guy I'm talking about. You went to the dance with him. Remember him? Of course you do, because clearly you're screwing him. Marty wasn't George's kid. He was Calvin's kid. It doesn't take a Maury Povich paternity test to prove that genetic connection. It was more obvious than the $100 Who wants to be a Millionaire question


For $100

Who was the first president of the United States.

A. George Washington

B. Bill Clinton

C. Rumpelstiltskin

D. Cucumber


Sure Lorraine would deny the allegations, but I doubt George would buy that shit. The tension between the two would grow and grow, and eventually they would separate. George Mcfly would quickly turn to the bottle and develop a mean alcohol problem, all while Lorraine runs into the arms of Biff. He's a different person than he was in high school. He's sensitive now. All thanks to that asshole Calvin Klein and his shenanigans. Now George only gets to see Marty on the weekends, and when he does he only grows resentment towards him. "That's not even my kid", George thinks to himself. It explains a lot too. He's always playing that damn guitar and hanging out with that weird scientist down the street. Kid's a damn lunatic.


Whatever you do, just don't call me chicken!!!