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November 04, 2014
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Last week, retiring Iowa senator Tom Harkin criticized Joni Ernst, the GOP candidate running for his seat, saying that he doesn’t care “if she’s as good looking as Taylor Swift” and that she’s wrong for the state. In the interest of avoiding any confusion that might cause voters to think they are perhaps casting a ballot for a 24-year-old Grammy-winning singer-songwriter, here are some key differences between the Republican candidate and the pop megastar:

Last week, retiring Iowa senator Tom Harkin criticized Joni Ernst, the GOP candidate running for his seat, saying that he doesn’t care “if she’s as good looking as Taylor Swift” and that she’s wrong for the state. In the interest of avoiding any confusion that might cause voters to think they are perhaps casting a ballot for a 24-year-old Grammy-winning singer-songwriter, here are some key differences between the Republican candidate and the pop megastar:



Joni Ernst

Taylor Swift
Has proposed eliminating the IRS, the Department of Education and the EPA. Has proposed eliminating the undue influence of critics on her self-worth, e.g. “shaking it off.”
Did not date Joe Jonas. Dated Joe Jonas from July to October 2008.
Supports allowing law-abiding citizens to “freely carry” firearms. Released the the single “22,” in 2012, a song that had little if anything to do with firearms of the same caliber.
Has based much of her campaign message around having castrated hogs. Has castrated very few hogs and rarely uses hog castration as a vehicle for her beliefs.
Has publicly stated that states can nullify federal laws. Is a pop star who didn’t go to college, and even she knows this isn’t true.
Has said that President Obama has “become a dictator” and should be impeached. Is very good at controlling her public image.
Still believes there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Wow. Just....wow.
Supports a “personhood” amendment, which would effectively outlaw abortion by granting full constitutional rights to zygotes upon conception. Dated Joe Jonas from July to October 2008.
Believes in a widely debunked conspiracy theory known as Agenda 21, which maintains that the U.S. is partnering with the U.N. to move rural Iowans into cities and take away their property rights. Believes 9/11 was an inside job.
Joni Ernst: Has proposed eliminating the IRS, the Department of Education and the EPA.


Taylor Swift: Has proposed eliminating the undue influence of critics on her self-worth, e.g. “shaking it off.”



Joni Ernst: Did not date Joe Jonas.


Taylor Swift: Dated Joe Jonas from July to October 2008.



Joni Ernst: Supports allowing law-abiding citizens to “freely carry” firearms.


Taylor Swift: Released the the single “22,” in 2012, a song that had little if anything to do with firearms of the same caliber.



Joni Ernst: Has based much of her campaign message around having castrated hogs.


Taylor Swift: Has castrated very few hogs and rarely uses hog castration as a vehicle for her beliefs.



Joni Ernst: Has publicly stated that states can nullify federal laws.


Taylor Swift: Is a pop star who didn’t go to college, and even she knows this isn’t true.



Joni Ernst: Has said that President Obama has “become a dictator” and should be impeached.


Taylor Swift: Is very good at controlling her public image.



Joni Ernst: Still believes there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.


Taylor Swift: Wow. Just....wow.



Joni Ernst: Supports a “personhood” amendment, which would effectively outlaw abortion by granting full constitutional rights to zygotes upon conception.


Taylor Swift: Dated Joe Jonas from July to October 2008.



Joni Ernst: Believes in a widely debunked conspiracy theory known as Agenda 21, which maintains that the U.S. is partnering with the U.N. to move rural Iowans into cities and take away their property rights.


Taylor Swift: Believes 9/11 was an inside job.



Kind of looks like Taylor Swift would far and away be the more reasonable choice to fill a senate seat, huh? That’s depressing.

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