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August 10, 2015

Let's face it, it's not 1956 anymore. Women don't cook or really do anything. They just whine about how they deserve equal pay and the right to vote, but stopped cooking.

5. Toast

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Bitch, I’m not a fucking duck. I’m not going to eat burnt bread with stirred cow milk on it. Go to fucking culinary school. That’s not a meal for an adult. It’s maybe a meal to feed your kids when you run out of Pizza Lunchables and you want to go have meth sex.

4. Ice Cube Tray


“Anthony, I filled the ice cube tray”. Bitch, are you fucking retarded? It’s 2015 not 1985. You just did a job my fucking refrigerator does without asking for money to go shopping. Go sit in a fucking corner until you realize the industrial revolution happened.

3. Dumping Take Out on a Plate


You’re not fooling anyway one when I come over and there is Chinese food on a plate. You can barely walk down a fucking hallway without a helmet, I know you didn’t make hot braised chicken with shrimp fried rice and egg rolls. Because you spent your college years playing beer pong and sucking off athletes.

2. Whatever the fuck is in this pan.


This isn’t dinner. It’s a lazy ass lunch. You dumped a box of whatever the fuck into boiling water or milk or whatever the fuck this concentration camp looking shit is. I’m going to Taco Bell, we’re over.

1. Wine


Just get drunk and cry on the couch in your pink sweat pants. You’re a fucking idiot.