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January 23, 2015

Paris Fashion Show Includes Plenty Of Exposed Wieners And Ding Dongs, Only First Phase In Wiener-Centric Fashion


Clothes were originally made for warmth and protecting the body’s skin from harsh climate or other unpleasant external elements. Somewhere along the line clothes also started to be used for modesty, to cover up boobs, butts, wieners, and vaginas so that, presumably, people wouldn’t be walking around horny all the time. Famous designer Rick Owens decided to bravely buck this second use of clothes and, at his menswear show in Paris yesterday, premiere clothes that left a little hole or slit in them so that a man’s dinger could peek through.

Fashion, like all forms of art, depends on cavalier thinkers to bust through the previous generation’s mold and once they break through, an army of designers can expound and improve on the initial leap. Below are a few sketches for new ways other designers are using Rick Owen’s show to inspire their new upcoming designs.

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The soon-to-be-classic Pervy Peeker style of men’s dress shirt by Thomas Pink. This piece’s signature is a permanently lifted up flap at the bottom of a classic button down exposing just enough space to show a glimpse of dong.


It was only a matter of time before mass fashion juggernaut Levi’s hopped on board with their Calf Shaft cut of jeans. The style includes two holes at each calf big enough to put your penises through.


When it comes to winter fashion, standard five fingered gloves are out and warm and fuzzy mittens are in. These Wooly Wiener Warmers by Marc Jacobs include a hole big enough to see a dong and a couple of balls through. The name is meant to be ironic because the wearers dong will definitely get cold wearing these.


Sporty baseball caps are retro and cute, not to mention functional on bright sunny days. This Dumb Penis Hat by New Era brings wearers back to their little league days while also leaving openings just big enough for a bunch of dicks.


Finally, this fun little soft cotton blouse and midi skirt combo says “Men shouldn’t have all the fun when it comes to leaving little gaps in their clothes where penises can show.” The Ding-A-Ling Blouse by The Row