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January 27, 2009


  'what is funny? You know what is? CHURCH FARTS. Yep  CHURCH FARTS is funny. Old people CHURCH FARTS is funnier than young people CHURCH FARTS . Young people when they let it go it usually explodes out because they have been holding it for ever and bent over and picked up a song book and suddenly a shot gun blast echo's through the sanctuary like a starting shot  for the organist to bring on the shout down. Speaking of shout downs, If you ever been to a holy rolling church, well, you won't ever go to the track again. you'l be going up to the deakon saying;" give me a trifacta box on the helicopter woman, the pue jumper, and sister speed lap." "I'm telling ya, they could put a betting box at the back of some of them chuches, draw a finish line on the floor by the alter and make some cold hard cash brother, let me tell you." Old people like to try and sneak out their farts. Like a floating land mine, hovering in the air, walk into it like a spider web, then its too late, done smelt it. What makes old people farts funny is the fact that anyone can be caught up in that web and if you know its happening you can make eye contatct with them from across the church and giggle at them in an attempt to make them break up inside. " Here comes the Mayor, he's about to hit the web by that old woman, wait for it, wait for it, when he looks this way, giggle and point." I love writing jokes, I wish someone would pick me up at scale. Untill then I think I am going to just dust off my best Budwiser jacket and go to mass.